Hi, my name is Richard and I am a compulsive Liar

I have been living this way for a long time. I want it to end and am taking steps now to try to make a positive change to myself so that this behavior no longer hurts those around me.

For nearly ten years I lied to myself and those around me about my wife. I got married under false pretenses. I didnt truly love her, I felt alone and scared and found someone remotely similar to myself and formed a relationship. We got married after a short courtship and I lied about that for ten years. I met someone a few years ago that I truly resonated with. This happened while I was married. Though even though I care dearly for this person I lied to them too, I had been cheating through numerous flings before hand and had even cheated on this person as well during our initial courtship. I stopped cheating and left my ex-wife for this wonderful person. I swore to myself it would never happen again and am glad to say that it has not. The lying however has continued. At first the lie was that I had not cheated on her with anyone else, which was untrue, and when she found evidence suggesting that it had, I continued to deny it. Eventually I broke down and admitted that in the beginning of our relationship I had cheated on her. I was happy to get such things out in the open, but I continued to lie further down the road. Regarding our finances we began to slip further and further down a hole of debt and problems. I however concocted several stories about incoming money and promised stability. These things were lies, and recently everything came to a head and everything was revealed, I had lost my job. The money I had promised was not coming to us and I was on the precipice of suicide. Still my life recovered somehow. My significant other forgave me and we tried to continue on with out lives. I thought I was doing well, we had some minor problems with other things here and there, but today I lied to her again. The lie was transparent and she knew the truth. I lied anyways. It was regarding an email I had received about my student status. I have hurt her too much, I can see the pain in her eyes when she looks at me and hear the strain in her voice when she speaks with me. I will not live like this anymore. I have a problem and want to get better for her and myself.