Help comes from you, not her. She can only support

I understand how you feel. But this isn't about her. It's about YOU. You need to make changes and move forward in your life with or without your girlfriend. It has to be about you. She can support you, but you have to do the hard stuff. Good luck! We're here for you.

I'm doing everything to change.but when she says,I haven't seen you do anything to change. how would she know? she hasn't been around me. between here and phone therapy, and therapy at my church... Realizing I have to change, because I didn't like looking in the mirror and seeing what I saw. it actually made me throw up one night, I had an epiphany. it was like oh my god what have I done?
maybe I just don't understand, maybe I think support is something else. but to me it's taken by someone through the good and the bad, especially when its hardest. this is the one I wanted to marry, we talked about a family, a life together...

Changing these behaviors is a slow process. You cannot and will not change overnight. If your girlfriend decides that she cannot stay with you, does that change what you need to do to move forward and change your own behaviors? You really need to think about that.

Focus on YOU. What's good for YOU. If she is at a place where she can't be supportive of you right now, you need to continue on your path forward without her and do what you need to do. That doesn't mean she won't be able to be supportive of you at another time. It simply means that right now, in this minute, your needs and her needs do not match up.

I know it's hard. You have to want to make changes because it's best for you, not because you want to save your relationship. Right now it seems you're focusing on the relationship.

Thx

I know just how hard it is to believe those things. I battle it myself every single minute of every day. My marriage is in total flux. Our lives are in limbo. But I can't control what my husband feels or does. I can be honest and give him the truths he needs or the space he needs, but that's it. I can, however control, what I do. I can take very positive steps forward in my own recovery.

It may come to a point for you that the anxiety and all the other feelings associated with your girlfriend start to impede your progress and your ability to do good things for yourself. Be aware of that. You may have to stop communicating with her for a period of time to clear your mind and begin your own healing process.