Let me be Me Community Group
A support group for those of us that need a safe place to share what ails us. Or what doesn't! This group is your group so you can be the person you really are, no need to pretend, no need to create some successful cyber image. Whether sharing our trials and tribulations, or our success's in life. Whether in sadness and needing comfort and support, or just...
My heart aches.
I'll be deleting this whole thread.
Just so ya's know.
Some of you were around when I talked about my very distant history of drug use..
And how scary it was to tell my PM doc about it at my initial appointment.
Anywaaay..
Once upon a time...the meds I'm on now would have seemed like a dream come true to me.
But...turns out.
When taken in extreme pain..they have a depressive effect rather than a false sense of euphoria.
I can't even imagine what..if any
.substance...would give me that any more.
But.god..I really want to feel that.
I mean..I REALLY, REALLY want to. Almost like I NEED TO.
It just keeps going through my mind that a false sense of euphoria would be better than none.
Dortunately..I guess..I haven't a clue how or where to get I legal drugs any more.
( those of you that hate addicts can just leave me alone..
I haven't misused drugs in years..and have paid and repaid for my misdeeds)
It's been such a very long time since I had ANY such desires....especially this strong.
It's a sign to me of how very tired I am of the CP struggle.
I can put my best face forward..but it doesn't change what's hidden in my heart.
I'm tired.
SO tired.
I'll be deleting this whole thread.
Just so ya's know.
Some of you were around when I talked about my very distant history of drug use..
And how scary it was to tell my PM doc about it at my initial appointment.
Anywaaay..
Once upon a time...the meds I'm on now would have seemed like a dream come true to me.
But...turns out.
When taken in extreme pain..they have a depressive effect rather than a false sense of euphoria.
I can't even imagine what..if any
.substance...would give me that any more.
But.god..I really want to feel that.
I mean..I REALLY, REALLY want to. Almost like I NEED TO.
It just keeps going through my mind that a false sense of euphoria would be better than none.
Dortunately..I guess..I haven't a clue how or where to get I legal drugs any more.
( those of you that hate addicts can just leave me alone..
I haven't misused drugs in years..and have paid and repaid for my misdeeds)
It's been such a very long time since I had ANY such desires....especially this strong.
It's a sign to me of how very tired I am of the CP struggle.
I can put my best face forward..but it doesn't change what's hidden in my heart.
I'm tired.
SO tired.
I don't really know what to say except that I love you lots and you're in my heart.
I wish I could do more than send you words on a screen.
So much love&hugs from me to you.
I'm sure some one would be happy and able to score you a joint for medical purposes. It is a crime that our government takes bribes from big pharma to make MJ out to be the worst thing since heroin.
It in fact helped me to go from bed ridden to a some what quality of life status and many others will testify to that as well. Since I stopped taking the pain meds that my Dr. prescribed I have only gotten better and better very little pain a lot less flares. I don't even use it now on a regular basis. But MJ is natural and as far as history has recorded no one has overdosed from it.
Besides you could use a little break from reality .
I keep you in my thoughts and prayers Hon.
Gentle hugs
I am proud of you for bringing this up, sigh, there are days where I would love to escape the reality of my life... though to chase the dragon becomes an endless task of trying to catch his tail.
Your not weak by any means, trying to find some relief from the illness and pain your enduring, I am just so sorry your traveling this raggedy shitty ol'e road... the sad truth is our bodies are so strickin with pain I dont think anything would bring that peace of euphoria...
I am so proud of you and love you JC, chasing that unreachable place just ain't worth it..... so lets join Steva roll a big Christmas spliff and break the reality of the joys (cough) of CP..... and dang I want a beer too....
With you Sweetness xoxoxoxox