Lesbian Network Community Group
This is a group for lesbians to unite and support our cause for equality, share opinions, ideas, network, and socialize.
I am currently heartbroken. I am 25 years old woman. A very mature 25 year old mind you. I have raised my brother since I was 15 because our drunk mother was not around much. I looked out for him and kept him safe. I currently work at a local deli in a small town. I put in 80 hours a week to make a decent living for myself. I live with two males who are in there late 40's. One of my roommates is widowed from my best friend who passed away due to cancer at 51 years old. We had to get another roommate to keep up with the bills.
I never knew I was into women. I guess like anyone else I was curious but never would have thought that I would ever fall in love with a woman. My friend who passed away which I lived with for years, she was my first experience. It was more of a trust thing with us I guess but she was married and it could not continue but after that I knew I wanted to be with a woman.
This past summer I met someone from my job. She became a regular customer. I was attracted to her and she had a bubbly personality. I knew she was older than me and she obviously knew I was younger then her but how old we were, we did not know. I thought she was in her mid thirties but I never really cared about the age. Even when I was dating men I did not care what the age was, I actually prefer to be with "people" older than me because of my maturity level.
Long story short, we went on our first date. We had an amazing time. The connection was like no other I have ever had. I am shy at first but when I got in her jeep to head out to a Brewery she was taking me to, for beer tasting and to watch a band I felt like I knew her my whole life. I was rambling none stop. I hadn't laughed that hard in so long I almost forgot I had it in me. We laughed, talked about our life, any thing and everything.
She suffers from depression which she told me on the first date, and she has M.S. She is on heavy medication. Well come to find out a few weeks after dating she told me she stopped taking her depression medication because I made her happy and she doesn't think she needs it. Well that was a mistake and I was not happy she stopped taking it but I can't make her do something she doesn't want.
When she dropped me off that night she kissed me goodbye. I was on cloud nine. I had never in my life kissed on the first date. It was the most amazing connection, I cannot even describe it in words. We got together as much as we could from there on out. After discovering I was 25 things got a little weird. Every time she takes me out in public or around friends she freaks out.
She breaks up with me after two weeks, and says she just cannot get past the age thing. Never really explains what about the age thing that bothered her just that we can't keep doing this, it's not healthy. So I was devastated. We were going to stay friends. I was supposed to meet up with her and hang out. Plans kept getting messed up and our schedules were conflicting.
I was with my aunt taking her to the store who is 49 mind you and we are like best friends. We are really close so I was spending the afternoon with her to talk about what was going on. We drove past my Ex's house on the way to the store. I knew she was home because her jeep was there. On our way back I get a text asking why I didn't stop. So I was excited I was going to finally be able to see her after the break up.
I dropped my aunt off at her house and went to my Ex's to just talk and do the friends thing. I knew it was going to be hard but I had to make it work some how. She wanted to meet my aunt so we ended up going over there. We had a few beers, we to get some dinner and head back to her place to eat. We said goodbye to my aunt and left. On the way back to her place she reaches for my hand. I pulled away because I just didn't want to be lead on. She held it tight and said I know I shouldn't be doing this. When we got in her drive way she talked and told me how much of a connection she has with me. That we should start over and take it day by day. I agreed. We kissed and I felt like my whole world molded back together.
We were doing better as a couple but she was going through a very depressing time. She needed her medication. Her roomates had her committed because they were scared because she isolated herself, wasn't going to work. I had no idea of this until she called me days later when she was in the hospital. I was glad she was okay and was going to get help and get back on her meds. When she got out of the hospital she came to see me and she seemed so much better.
She had to make some changes. Move out of state with her brother. The distance was not going to be an issue because we wanted us to work. I met her brother and her family. We were getting along great. She told me she loved me and I was so shocked. I was falling in love with her and she looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me. Our relationship since day was one was so intense. We had mutual feelings the entire time. I told her I loved her a week later after really thinking about it. I honestly was ready to spend the rest of my life with her.
Then she freaks out again. She wants to end it because of the age thing. I just didn't understand. She told me she loves me but it just can't work. I need to be with someone my own age. I'm the same age as her nephews. She just freaked out and she has issues and I think she just is over thinking everything. I think it was too soon to bring me to meet her family and it all just came crashing down on her. She tends to run away when she feels pressured. I think she was over whelmed. We have yet to hang out since this and I need to see her.
I think we can work, it's just going to take a lot more effort which I'm ready to do. I need to do. I make her happy and she makes me happy. We are good for each other. I jus think she needs some space to think about everything. To realize that she needs to get her stuff together before she can deal with a serious relationship. I understand that and I'm willing to wait and help her figure things out. I can't give up on her yet, it's just too important to me. I need her, she needs me. She did this with her last girlfriend. I just don't want to continue to get hurt and hope it will work out again. We need to have a serious talk. Right now I'm just reaching out for opinions, responses anything will do. I need advice.
I never knew I was into women. I guess like anyone else I was curious but never would have thought that I would ever fall in love with a woman. My friend who passed away which I lived with for years, she was my first experience. It was more of a trust thing with us I guess but she was married and it could not continue but after that I knew I wanted to be with a woman.
This past summer I met someone from my job. She became a regular customer. I was attracted to her and she had a bubbly personality. I knew she was older than me and she obviously knew I was younger then her but how old we were, we did not know. I thought she was in her mid thirties but I never really cared about the age. Even when I was dating men I did not care what the age was, I actually prefer to be with "people" older than me because of my maturity level.
Long story short, we went on our first date. We had an amazing time. The connection was like no other I have ever had. I am shy at first but when I got in her jeep to head out to a Brewery she was taking me to, for beer tasting and to watch a band I felt like I knew her my whole life. I was rambling none stop. I hadn't laughed that hard in so long I almost forgot I had it in me. We laughed, talked about our life, any thing and everything.
She suffers from depression which she told me on the first date, and she has M.S. She is on heavy medication. Well come to find out a few weeks after dating she told me she stopped taking her depression medication because I made her happy and she doesn't think she needs it. Well that was a mistake and I was not happy she stopped taking it but I can't make her do something she doesn't want.
When she dropped me off that night she kissed me goodbye. I was on cloud nine. I had never in my life kissed on the first date. It was the most amazing connection, I cannot even describe it in words. We got together as much as we could from there on out. After discovering I was 25 things got a little weird. Every time she takes me out in public or around friends she freaks out.
She breaks up with me after two weeks, and says she just cannot get past the age thing. Never really explains what about the age thing that bothered her just that we can't keep doing this, it's not healthy. So I was devastated. We were going to stay friends. I was supposed to meet up with her and hang out. Plans kept getting messed up and our schedules were conflicting.
I was with my aunt taking her to the store who is 49 mind you and we are like best friends. We are really close so I was spending the afternoon with her to talk about what was going on. We drove past my Ex's house on the way to the store. I knew she was home because her jeep was there. On our way back I get a text asking why I didn't stop. So I was excited I was going to finally be able to see her after the break up.
I dropped my aunt off at her house and went to my Ex's to just talk and do the friends thing. I knew it was going to be hard but I had to make it work some how. She wanted to meet my aunt so we ended up going over there. We had a few beers, we to get some dinner and head back to her place to eat. We said goodbye to my aunt and left. On the way back to her place she reaches for my hand. I pulled away because I just didn't want to be lead on. She held it tight and said I know I shouldn't be doing this. When we got in her drive way she talked and told me how much of a connection she has with me. That we should start over and take it day by day. I agreed. We kissed and I felt like my whole world molded back together.
We were doing better as a couple but she was going through a very depressing time. She needed her medication. Her roomates had her committed because they were scared because she isolated herself, wasn't going to work. I had no idea of this until she called me days later when she was in the hospital. I was glad she was okay and was going to get help and get back on her meds. When she got out of the hospital she came to see me and she seemed so much better.
She had to make some changes. Move out of state with her brother. The distance was not going to be an issue because we wanted us to work. I met her brother and her family. We were getting along great. She told me she loved me and I was so shocked. I was falling in love with her and she looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me. Our relationship since day was one was so intense. We had mutual feelings the entire time. I told her I loved her a week later after really thinking about it. I honestly was ready to spend the rest of my life with her.
Then she freaks out again. She wants to end it because of the age thing. I just didn't understand. She told me she loves me but it just can't work. I need to be with someone my own age. I'm the same age as her nephews. She just freaked out and she has issues and I think she just is over thinking everything. I think it was too soon to bring me to meet her family and it all just came crashing down on her. She tends to run away when she feels pressured. I think she was over whelmed. We have yet to hang out since this and I need to see her.
I think we can work, it's just going to take a lot more effort which I'm ready to do. I need to do. I make her happy and she makes me happy. We are good for each other. I jus think she needs some space to think about everything. To realize that she needs to get her stuff together before she can deal with a serious relationship. I understand that and I'm willing to wait and help her figure things out. I can't give up on her yet, it's just too important to me. I need her, she needs me. She did this with her last girlfriend. I just don't want to continue to get hurt and hope it will work out again. We need to have a serious talk. Right now I'm just reaching out for opinions, responses anything will do. I need advice.
Join the Conversation