At the age of 28 i feel very distant with my mom. My mother is a great woman. She has been there for me all my life. I am lucky to have grown up with both my parents. I dont feel the connection with my mom though. Most of the times i have this hate feel that runs through me. My mom made sure i had everything, paid for my school, provide for everything. we were never close . I cannot open up to her and tell her anything. In short we do not have a mother to daughter relationship. Perhaps because my mom is a perfectionist and i also feel that she is not understanding. I do not feel comfortable telling her anything because she will judge you in some way. She sees the worst in people. When were young she was never pleased with anything we did.
she told one of my cousins that i dont like her. Which is true, i would like to talk to someone who is understanding. Well i dont hate my mom but i hate her character. How do i build our relationship? I am not married as i went back to university after working for sometimes i had to go and study for a second degree. I still depend on her and live in the same house with her. We hardly ever talk about anything then just things in general.
I will appreciate your input
First of all, u both living together can make things very difficult. Do u see urself moving out and away from ur mother any time soon? Well u can use traits that also helps strengthen marriages as well. Find out her strengths. When make light of what she is good at, even if its hard to do that with hard feelings, she will automatically do the same for u over time. Yes it will take time. Even making little notes in the house where she can see them saying: how much u appreciate her. Stuff like that can go along ways! I'm just giving examples though. Adding exercise to both of ur relationships can also lighten the mood dramatically too. I'm a big advocate when it comes to combining the law of attraction and exercise. U can make several adstments over time to make the environment better, but ultimately u finding ur own place will make everything so much better. I am currently living with 85 year old grandparents and it can be a heavy load. Yes the rent can be very much cheaper, but there is no price for freedom. I want it too! I hope this helped. Tyler
Hi Annery, i have just joined this group and how perfect that this is the first message i see :-)
i too have always had a terrible relationship with my mother, i don't have any contact with her at the moment because i can't cope with the way she makes me feel - however, i discovered the LOA several weeks ago and also the technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique (google it you'll find loads of free resources). Basically, it's about releasing those negative emotions that have stayed with you from the past, and learning to forgive, this does not mean that you have to run straigth to her and express that you forgive her, it means that you work on forgiving yourself for having these negative emotions and clinging onto them, they do you no good now and just use up your energy. In time, after working on these things about yourself, you may find your relationship improving naturally, as you will not be focussing on the past resentments, which your mother is picking up from you at present, and this is what is making it difficult for you to bond.
I would be the first to hear you if you are saying 'that's easier said than done' but it will get easier once you have made a start :-)
Your welcome.
i too have always had a terrible relationship with my mother, i don't have any contact with her at the moment because i can't cope with the way she makes me feel - however, i discovered the LOA several weeks ago and also the technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique (google it you'll find loads of free resources). Basically, it's about releasing those negative emotions that have stayed with you from the past, and learning to forgive, this does not mean that you have to run straigth to her and express that you forgive her, it means that you work on forgiving yourself for having these negative emotions and clinging onto them, they do you no good now and just use up your energy. In time, after working on these things about yourself, you may find your relationship improving naturally, as you will not be focussing on the past resentments, which your mother is picking up from you at present, and this is what is making it difficult for you to bond.
I would be the first to hear you if you are saying 'that's easier said than done' but it will get easier once you have made a start :-)