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Stuck on an Island
A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head were all stuck on an island. Then they found a magic lamp and rubbed it. Out popped the genie and since there were three of them, he gave them each one wish. The brunette said, "I wish I was a bird so I could fly away." So the genie turned her into a bird and she flew away. He turned to the red-head and she said, "I wish I was a wolf so I could hunt food." So the genie turned her into a wolf and she went off to hunt food. Then he turned to the blonde and she said, "I wish I was," then she slipped on something and yelled, "Sh*t!"
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Two Men and a Lion
Two men and a lion were stranded on an uninhabited island. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited. One man was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles , got tired and drowned. Then the second man tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and he too drowned. The lion thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming. The lion swam 50 miles, but started to get tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.
http://www.5jokesaday.com/content/island-jokes
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went to the pharmacy and doctor and came home to find that she had gone into the open door of bathroom that I did not take time to latch when leaving and she got into my trash can in there grabbed old diaper of mine out of can and chewed up the thing...it has a polymer in it to absorb so I knew I needed to call the vet er and they said give her 3TBS of hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting. I got...
