It's past midnight. I have to be up for work in 6 hours. Why does this always happen.... I know it's just me in this group for now. But I just want to get my thoughts out with the hopes that it helps me or you I don't know...

Life is never kind to people, even more so if you try to be kind or devote your life to helping others. If life is like this then why do we continue to do it like a mad man? What drives them? I wish I knew. What drives me to be a better person? Well for me it's that loneliness was a incurable disease when I was a child and still now at times. No one that really understood me. The few friends I had left or worse ended up hateing me. Maybe being alone is best for me but at the same time it terrifies me. The only thing that is keeping me going is that I hope to cure or at least help lessen others loneliness because when you're alone your mind, your thoughts they can kill you make you stay in the dark until it consumes you. So that's why I want to be a light for people even if it doesn't shine bright. I know that I should focus on myself but I don't care about that. There are people out that are ten times worse than me that I could be helping now even by just simply being a friend and listening or making them laugh and smile. My firm belief is that if you can smile you can get through the day.

Sorry if this is too long for you. Anyway I'm going to try and get some sleep. Thanks for reading.