IVF with Donor Eggs or Donor Embryos Community Group
Support and advice for those who need to use Donor Eggs, Donor Embryos, or Donor Eggs/Embryos with a Gestational Carrier for infertility treatment. Welcome all at every stage of this journey to Motherhood.
Hello, ladies! I am new to this group, but I am not new to infertility or DS. First off, I am glad to see this is an active group. I've been reading your posts, and everyone seems so wonderfully supportive here (but I'm not surprised as I've seen a lot of the same women in the main IF board). Thanks for the wealth of information too!
So here's a quick rundown of my story. My DH and I will be celebrating 7 years of marriage on Sunday, but we've been together for over 13. We started TTC just about 6 years ago at a fairly young age - I was 24, and he was 27. So many people say they regret waiting too long to start trying. I honestly regret that we started trying as early as we did because it's only meant more years of heartache, and in some ways, I feel that I've ruined so much of my youth. I am now 30, and my husband is almost 33.
So, anyway, like all of you, I've had the works done when it comes to testing: blood work, ultrasounds, two HSG tests, a hysteroscopy, a laparoscopy, etc. We were three years in before I finally went to an RE (I had done some testing and a few rounds of Clomid with an OB/GYN prior), and it was then that I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. We did 3 rounds of Clomid with the RE, and my first cycle was a chemical pregnancy (the only BFP I ever received which turned out not to be so big or fat). Later, we did 3 IUIs with injectables, and they all failed. It was recommended that we do IVF, but due to the lack of insurance coverage and the high cost, we haven't been able to. More recently, I had a lap done through my Ob/gyn - nothing was found so I did a couple more rounds of Clomid. I've since lost some weight and plan to do one more Clomid round, but I have so little hope for it.
It's been six years, and we've had to take several long "breaks" for financial reasons. We've been considering foster to adopt (which I really want to do but to fix up our house for a home study would take forever and be very costly) plus I really want to experience pregnancy and to have a baby. Private adoption is far too expensive so it's out of the question. We've looked into the IVF shared risk programs, and some of them look great, but the cost involved is unreal. Even if we took out a loan, I have no idea how we'd afford the payments on top of taking care of a baby! Then I heard someone mention on an online forum about how ED is a more affordable option. Embryos are donated, not purchased, and an FET is far less costly than IVF. It is also less stressful, and I imagine the meds required aren't as expensive either. Since I'm open to adoption anyway, I like the idea of giving birth to my child without having to worry about a birthmother changing her mind, or the child going back to the parents (as in a foster to adopt situation). I would be the birthmother.
Has anyone here done embryo donation simply because it's more affordable? If so, did you find that it was? Even though it's a little hard to think about a loss of genetic connection to the child especially when I still don't know whether or not my eggs are viable, I just think it's more important to me that we will be able to take care of our child financially. I was honestly surprised that my husband was even open to this idea, but I think after being on the IF rollercoaster for so long, you surprise yourself by what you're willing to do to get off the insane ride!
I also know there's a good chance it won't work, and that's why the shared risk IVF is so appealing since you'll get your money back if it doesn't. With ED, we would lose it all. But the money would be less substantial (or so I hope - we wouldn't want to go through an embryo adoption agency that charges ridiculous fees). And I figure we would still lose money even if we did IVF since the meds and pre-screenings aren't included, and they're very costly. And the financial risk of IVF is so much greater.
I just sent an email to a clinic near me that does embryo donation to ask for more info so I'm pretty excited about that! I've heard there's usually a waiting list, which probably isn't a bad thing since we have some debt that we're working on paying down plus there's still that small chance that the Clomid will work. I hate to even think that because I highly doubt it will! I still haven't gotten my period to even start it yet, and of course I took a test and it was negative.
Sorry this ended up being so long!! If anyone has some insight or experiences with embryo donation that they would be willing to share, it would be much appreciated. :)
So here's a quick rundown of my story. My DH and I will be celebrating 7 years of marriage on Sunday, but we've been together for over 13. We started TTC just about 6 years ago at a fairly young age - I was 24, and he was 27. So many people say they regret waiting too long to start trying. I honestly regret that we started trying as early as we did because it's only meant more years of heartache, and in some ways, I feel that I've ruined so much of my youth. I am now 30, and my husband is almost 33.
So, anyway, like all of you, I've had the works done when it comes to testing: blood work, ultrasounds, two HSG tests, a hysteroscopy, a laparoscopy, etc. We were three years in before I finally went to an RE (I had done some testing and a few rounds of Clomid with an OB/GYN prior), and it was then that I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. We did 3 rounds of Clomid with the RE, and my first cycle was a chemical pregnancy (the only BFP I ever received which turned out not to be so big or fat). Later, we did 3 IUIs with injectables, and they all failed. It was recommended that we do IVF, but due to the lack of insurance coverage and the high cost, we haven't been able to. More recently, I had a lap done through my Ob/gyn - nothing was found so I did a couple more rounds of Clomid. I've since lost some weight and plan to do one more Clomid round, but I have so little hope for it.
It's been six years, and we've had to take several long "breaks" for financial reasons. We've been considering foster to adopt (which I really want to do but to fix up our house for a home study would take forever and be very costly) plus I really want to experience pregnancy and to have a baby. Private adoption is far too expensive so it's out of the question. We've looked into the IVF shared risk programs, and some of them look great, but the cost involved is unreal. Even if we took out a loan, I have no idea how we'd afford the payments on top of taking care of a baby! Then I heard someone mention on an online forum about how ED is a more affordable option. Embryos are donated, not purchased, and an FET is far less costly than IVF. It is also less stressful, and I imagine the meds required aren't as expensive either. Since I'm open to adoption anyway, I like the idea of giving birth to my child without having to worry about a birthmother changing her mind, or the child going back to the parents (as in a foster to adopt situation). I would be the birthmother.
Has anyone here done embryo donation simply because it's more affordable? If so, did you find that it was? Even though it's a little hard to think about a loss of genetic connection to the child especially when I still don't know whether or not my eggs are viable, I just think it's more important to me that we will be able to take care of our child financially. I was honestly surprised that my husband was even open to this idea, but I think after being on the IF rollercoaster for so long, you surprise yourself by what you're willing to do to get off the insane ride!
I also know there's a good chance it won't work, and that's why the shared risk IVF is so appealing since you'll get your money back if it doesn't. With ED, we would lose it all. But the money would be less substantial (or so I hope - we wouldn't want to go through an embryo adoption agency that charges ridiculous fees). And I figure we would still lose money even if we did IVF since the meds and pre-screenings aren't included, and they're very costly. And the financial risk of IVF is so much greater.
I just sent an email to a clinic near me that does embryo donation to ask for more info so I'm pretty excited about that! I've heard there's usually a waiting list, which probably isn't a bad thing since we have some debt that we're working on paying down plus there's still that small chance that the Clomid will work. I hate to even think that because I highly doubt it will! I still haven't gotten my period to even start it yet, and of course I took a test and it was negative.
Sorry this ended up being so long!! If anyone has some insight or experiences with embryo donation that they would be willing to share, it would be much appreciated. :)
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