IVF with Donor Eggs or Donor Embryos Community Group

Support and advice for those who need to use Donor Eggs, Donor Embryos, or Donor Eggs/Embryos with a Gestational Carrier for infertility treatment. Welcome all at every stage of this journey to Motherhood.

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kris10g 09/23/2010

I could really use some advice from other ladies who have had to make the decision about choosing a donor. My DH and I received our first donor profile today from the anonymous donor database at our local clinic. Everything about her profile was looking really good and she has a lot of similarities to me both physically as well as in characteristics. Anyway, I was feeling really good about her until I saw that asthma runs in her family. The donor has it, and so does her father, PGF, and other siblings as well. This scares me a bit.

According to the egg donor coordinator, physically she's a good match, she already has 3 children, and she also gave her last recipient couple 19 eggs. We were also told that there is a shortage of blond donors in the database which is a little frustrating because that's really 1 of 2 criteria as far as physical features that we were really hoping for.

I'm really torn on what we should do. We've been waiting for so long for this and it really sounds like a safe choice when it comes to our chances of success, but the asthma thing is really weighing on my decision.

Any advice?????

deleted_user 09/23/2010

It sounds like she is a good match except for the asthma. My brother has asthma and it is a very easy condition to manage. Look at it this way, all of the people in her family are living with the condition- they haven't passed away from it. It may seem scary, but asthma isn't life threatening in most cases. I would go for it.

Wishing you luck as you work through your decision.

deleted_user 09/23/2010

just remember everyone's family will have some medical conditions so you will never find one who has nothing in her family history. She sounds like a proven donor and has the characteristics that you like. Good luck in your process.

kris10g 09/23/2010

Thanks for the responses. Asthma does not run in my husband's family so I guess it isn't guaranteed that a child will inherit it. That's true that nobody's profile is going to be perfect and if this is the biggest health concern, then that is manageable. Your responses have already helped me feel a little better about this donor. We really do like everything else about her profile.

deleted_user 09/24/2010

I agree with the other ladies. I know it is tough though. I think the important thing is that she gave the last couple 19 eggs and already has three children. I had ashma as a child and it did not effect me too much. I eventually grew out of it. Good luck!

deleted_user 09/24/2010

Can you find out if any of her 3 kids have asthma? There are no guarantees for any donor. Everthing else sounds like a perfect match! Good luck!

kris10g 09/25/2010

We're going to ask if any of her kids have asthma, so I guess we'll see. We've pretty much already decided that we are going to go with her. Other than that issue, she fits everything else we've been looking for in a donor and more. Like what dlhudson said that every donor is going to have some medical conditions in their family and if Asthma is the worst thing that we see, it's definately manageable.

I was just worried because I did not grow up with asthma running in my family so I don't know all the details about it. I've since then, talked with friends who either have it or have children with asthma and said that it is pretty easy to manage and they have very normal lives.

We feel good about this donor and I'm really excited to call our clinic on Monday to tell them we want to go with her. Thanks again ladies, I really appreciate the feedback.

deleted_user 09/28/2010

Great decision! Good luck!

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