Intracranial Hypertention Community Group
This is discussion group for those who have been or know someone who has been diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertention.
As stated in my previous journal entry, I moved to change everything I hated about my life. And was successful. I was working a 12/hour job, going to school full time for radio broadcasting, at one of the top schools in my country, which has always been my dream. Everything in my life was working out, finally.
This condition has taken ALL of it away from me. It makes me angry. There is alot of anger surrounded by all of this. This is UNFAIR. I changed everything about my life for the better, and then my brain decided to mess it all up.
I missed a bunch of school. There was the week I was in the hospital 3 times, and then after the third time I was ordered to lay at home for a week, and that hopefully the Diamox would start doing it's job. After I learned I would have to have brain surgery, I met with my academic advisers who told me to take the rest of the semester off, and that since I was doing well in all my classes at midterm, if I was better, I could come back in January, start second semester classes and make up assignments from second half of the fall semester. I loved school. I loved being in and on the radio, the classes, the teachers, the people. Best part of my life, and it's over till January.
The other thing is, that I was under the impression that I'd have the surgery soon, in time for January, however the referral and communication between hospitals has been slow, and now it's looking like I'm going to have to wait until next fall to go back. THAT breaks my heart.
I was working a great job. And they knew what was going on with me, and that I would be off and on, and having surgery. And they were really understanding. They fired me a few days ago, despite my having notes, and the KNOWING what was happening with my head.
I'm very independent. My family doesn't live in Ottawa with me, and I support myself, financially, emotionally, etc. I haven't made many friends in Ottawa. Not that I'm a loser, I've just been focused, on making everything I want in life happening.
No school, no work. Everything that defined me and my life success is gone.
And then, there's the anger about my lack of skills. I spend everyday feeling fucking stupid. It's little things, like lacking coordination to tie my shoes, to cut up meat on my dinner plate. Not being able to see. My lack of memory recall. Sometimes I forget what bus to take, what I wore the day before. The fluid pressuring my brain is damaging my brain. And the stuttering. Sometimes my speech is unclear. I sound stupid, I feel stupid and I look like shit. Everyday.
I'm a live life to the fullest kind of person. And this has stopped almost all of that. I'm supposed to rest. A bunch.
I'm suffering from boredom and anger and financial stress
This condition has taken ALL of it away from me. It makes me angry. There is alot of anger surrounded by all of this. This is UNFAIR. I changed everything about my life for the better, and then my brain decided to mess it all up.
I missed a bunch of school. There was the week I was in the hospital 3 times, and then after the third time I was ordered to lay at home for a week, and that hopefully the Diamox would start doing it's job. After I learned I would have to have brain surgery, I met with my academic advisers who told me to take the rest of the semester off, and that since I was doing well in all my classes at midterm, if I was better, I could come back in January, start second semester classes and make up assignments from second half of the fall semester. I loved school. I loved being in and on the radio, the classes, the teachers, the people. Best part of my life, and it's over till January.
The other thing is, that I was under the impression that I'd have the surgery soon, in time for January, however the referral and communication between hospitals has been slow, and now it's looking like I'm going to have to wait until next fall to go back. THAT breaks my heart.
I was working a great job. And they knew what was going on with me, and that I would be off and on, and having surgery. And they were really understanding. They fired me a few days ago, despite my having notes, and the KNOWING what was happening with my head.
I'm very independent. My family doesn't live in Ottawa with me, and I support myself, financially, emotionally, etc. I haven't made many friends in Ottawa. Not that I'm a loser, I've just been focused, on making everything I want in life happening.
No school, no work. Everything that defined me and my life success is gone.
And then, there's the anger about my lack of skills. I spend everyday feeling fucking stupid. It's little things, like lacking coordination to tie my shoes, to cut up meat on my dinner plate. Not being able to see. My lack of memory recall. Sometimes I forget what bus to take, what I wore the day before. The fluid pressuring my brain is damaging my brain. And the stuttering. Sometimes my speech is unclear. I sound stupid, I feel stupid and I look like shit. Everyday.
I'm a live life to the fullest kind of person. And this has stopped almost all of that. I'm supposed to rest. A bunch.
I'm suffering from boredom and anger and financial stress
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