To start, sorry this is so long.

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 4 years before we sought the counsel of an RE. After all the bloodwork, semen analysis and other tests ot ward determined that there was no physical reason for or infertility. After several timed cycles with the aid of femara and estrace (because they didn't know what else to try) we still were unable to conceive. It was offered to try IUI, but given there was no diagnosable cause for the infertility and the success rates for IUI aren't great, hubby and I decided to forgo any further medical treatment and continue trying on our own.

After 18 more months of trying and still nothing I had actually come I the realization that having children probably wasn't I the cards for us and, through a lot of soul searching was finally at peace with this realization. Then 2 months later,  miraculously, I was pregnant. I was over the moon excited but my excitement was soon shattered when that pregnancy ended in miscarriage after 7 weeks.

After the miscarriage hubby and I decided that we were going to pursue IUI since we thought the chances would be better. I was started on the same course of low dose femara and estrace, went in for my mid cycle ultrasound which showed 3 good follicles around 15-16mm and was told of I didn't have a positive OPK within 3 days to call and they'd send in a prescription so I could do a trigger shot. I had a positive OPK the next day, went in and had bloodwork to confirm I was surging - LH was 67, so proceeded with the IUI and in the subsequent days had cramping, brown bleeding and clotting. My RE had me come back in for bloodwork which indicated that I had not ovulated. Went back the next day for more bloodwork and ultrasound which confirmed I had not ovulated. My RE and nurse at the office said that they'd never seen anyone with my numbers and would have to discuss it to create a plan. The next day the nurse called and told me they wanted me to take a high dose of femara and come back for ultrasound and bloodwork 2 days later. 2 days later, no ovulation but the ultrasound showed 2 follicles over 17mm and 1 at 15mm. Was told if no positive OPK in the next 2 days to do the trigger and schedule IUI for 36h later. Guess what? No positive so I had to trigger and had the IUI yesterday. I can feel my emotions getting to me like they did in the early years of TTC and am wondering why I did this to myself when I had learned to be ok. I'm in search of advice on how to cope.