Infertility, Secondary Support Group
"Secondary infertility" is difficulty conceiving after already having conceived and carried a normal pregnancy. Apart from various medical conditions (e.g. hormonal), this may come as a result of age and stress felt to provide a sibling for their first child.
Hi. New here. My husband and I have been TTC our second for 18 months now. We have an amazing almost 3 year old daughter - truly the light in our lives. I had a wonderful pregnancy with her that ended with and emergency CS and near catastrophic results for both her and I. Miraculously, she and I both pulled through. When she was 15 months, we were cleared to start trying again and after 12 months of trying, we sought help. All testing checked out - nothing abnormal for either him or I. We’ve done four rounds with letrazole and will start a round with Clomid next week. An IUI is scheduled for mid March.
I was doing great with our plan, until today. I was chugging along, remaining positive, upbeat and eyes on the prize this whole time...until today. Today I found out my best friend thinks she pregnant again - first time trying. Her and I had our first babies 2 weeks apart and it was magical. Our girls are best friends and our lives have paralleled each other’s so amazingly...until now.
I am happy for her and her family in all the ways the ways I can be right now. I love her like a sister and I’m thrilled her family is growing. But I’m broken inside. I’m so sad. I’ve done nothing but cry today any chance I get to be alone. For my beautiful daughter I am brave, funny, smiling, energetic, and carefree. Alone I am unimaginably sad and frustrated.
When will it feel like I can breathe again?
When I was having MCs I would get upset when people who I deemed "unworthy" of a pregnancy got pregnant. Mostly the young, un-wed girls who worked under me and complained they didnt know if they wanted the baby etc... that was hard.
I would feel a bit jabbed holding the new babies of my friends, but it was just me. I got over it. It does go away - the pain. The reminder will never go away. It will always be there in your thoughts. Its like loosing someone close to you, it will fade but never go away.
The best advice I can give is to cry and feel the pain when you need it. Let it out when it comes. Then remind yourself that youre still here and youre still fighting for your chance. Allow yourself to feel the pain and understand that you are allowed to be sad and upset ... learn from it and eventually ... move on. Work towards your goal and dont give up until youre ready.