I found this website from a post about a lady that finally got pregnant after going on a trip with Oprah, just happened to work out that way. I have never posted or been to this website before. But I started to feel like I needed to connect with other mothers going through similar issues.

Im sorry about your losses. Its rough not having answers and waiting... when there isnt time to just wait! I wondered if you were still doing the IVF? I hope so. I was glad we at least tried.

I have also had problems getting pregnant again. I had my daughter right away in March 2015 and started trying again when she turned 18 months.

I have since lost 6 pregnancies, both my tubes and almost my uterus. I am lucky to be alive. We started IVF (our only choice) in November and just found out none of our 8 embryos are viable. It was crushing. I dont know if at 35 I want to do it again. Its so expensive also. I am torn.

I'm so sorry for your losses. That must be incredibly painful. And also the IVF results. That is crushing news.

We, too, started IVF in November and things haven't gone too smoothly. We are extremely lucky to have had one genetically normal embryo on ice, but I developed some complications from the retrieval.

It looks like my endometrioma became infected during the retrieval and I've been sick since mid December. I was hospitalized for a week and have been on antibiotics at home since, but I'm afraid I've got some warning signs that the infection is coming back. To top it off, with a lowered immune system, it allowed my shingles pain to resurface and it has become extremely painful.

I'm so torn on IVF now too. We have this wonderful embryo waiting for us, but I feel like I've put a lot more at risk than I intended too and that's difficult to reconcile when you have a child.

I'm fairly confident that we wouldn't do it again. It's quite rare to develop this kind of infection from the retrieval, but it's too scary to think of going through this again. I'm even worried about transfer. This stuff is hard.

Thanks for responding to my post. I've found it really hard to find support that is specific to secondary infertility and I'm very conscious of how lucky we are to have our son and that it makes some other outlets difficult to share in.

Couldnt agree more. There is heartache but at the same time, as a mother, you have to be aware of keeping your emotions/actions in check so as to keep things normal-ish for your child. I remember holding off on crying one time, for weeks until I found a good time... driving, while my child was sleeping in the car.

Im so sorry to hear about your infection? I suppose that was the purpose of the prophylactic antibiotics after retrieval. Were you prescribed antibiotics? I had questioned whether or not to take those actually.

It seems rather unfortunate, for a mother with a child, to feel that continuing on with infertility treatment is being selfish somehow. I feel like no one would ever question the lengths at which a motherless child would go to have 1 baby... its is daunting. But I suppose being a good mother is putting your child's needs above your own. In any case, you are not doing anything wrong. Although at one inappropriate time (obviously) my three-year-old reminded me that I have bad eggs in me so we couldn't have another baby. Little sponge!

We did genetic counciling with IVF, I found it rather unhelpful. It just felt like a scientific way of telling us "we don't know anything for certain - sorry - but if you'd like to pay more money...". Everything is super expensive. I googled "celebrities with infertility" one night before bed and found quite a few stories. Some had done multiple multiple rounds of IVF with no results. It reminded me that even those with amplify funding can still find IVF unhelpful. At least I am able feel lucky to have had the oppertunity to at try. I suppose I have some closure at least... not only did I have ectopics but they may have never had suvived either because I am too old now at 34 *rolling eyes*. I will however, forever be haunted by certain comments from other people... they will never feel my pain, they have no idea. Not many people do. Thanks for listening.

I have a two and a half year old and we've been trying for #2 with no success. I can't stop the jealousy of all my other girlfriends who keep getting pregnant. How long did you wait until you saw a doctor?

@aussiemkm, I can't exactly answer your question because I had to see a reproductive endocrinologist very early in my attempts at pregnancy with my first due to my husband's fertility issues. That's when I found out I had plenty of my own issues. Trying to conceive naturally is not an option for us... well, we can try, but my husband has zero sperm. I will make a suggestion to you though, based on my experience with docs - if I were you, I would make an appointment for a consultation and to get some tests done. You don't have to commit to anything if you don't feel comfortable with it, and you may even find out that there is an easy fix that could save you time and additional heartache. I would also caution you that if you find a doctor who says IVF is the way to go, without exploring any other options first - RUN! Find someone who is willing to really work with you and figure out what is going to work for your personal situation. Also, find an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility. It can be helpful to have met with a doc first, to provide that info to the acupuncturist as you get started there. I've had a wonderful experience with my acupuncturist, doc and his entire office. Unfortunately, I'm having a much harder time trying for #2... hence seeking out this group. Best of luck to you!

Sorry for my delayed reply here. I've still been dealing with this infection, so I've been distracted.

@lumiereetince Yep, that's the purpose of the prophylactic antibiotics! I was given some during the procedure and most of the time they are enough, but every once in a while, someone will get an infection. I happened to be that lucky lady ;) It's more likely when you have endometriosis, so that's a big factor in why I got it.

I'm sorry the genetic counselor wasn't super helpful for you. The counselor that I saw was more of a clinical counselor who specialized in fertility treatments. You might find one of those more helpful? But you're right - they all cost money! As does everything with infertility it seems. But yes, I feel very lucky that IVF is an option for us, financially speaking.

@aussiemkm I saw a fertility doctor after about 9 months of trying. I'm 40 though, so that makes a difference!

@kubs820 Sorry to hear you're in the secondary infertility club too. It's tough, right?