First and for most, I'm 25 years old (which is where the stigma comes)...

Most associate incontinence with the elderly yet you would be surprised how many "younger" individuals deal with it...

Long story short, I have a whole host of issues that contribute to my bladder, and unfortunately occasional bowel incontinence... But the incontinence only came mostly when I was unconscientious of it (seizure, sleep, etc.)

It started with a severe head injury (stabbing) at 9 years of age which lead to some permanent brain damage and diagnosis of epilepsy... During my seizures, I lose control of bladder and/or bowel (rarely)... From then on it has "escalated". I became completely incontinent during the night following a cardiac arrest episode 8 months ago, that further damaged my brain... 

It seems the more time progresses/passes, the worse my incontinence has gotten...

Just three days ago, I had my first conscious bowel accident. I would give myself some sort of grace if I had a stomach illness/diarrhea, but that wasn't the case at all. 

Long story short, I was driving from work and heading to pick up a woman I had met and asked on a date. I got to her house, greeted her at the door, got in my car and we went on our way to our destinations for the evening. We were both in my car when it happened... All of a sudden, I had a massive bowel accident... No warning, no nothing, and I filled my underwear with a solid bowel movement! I almost wrecked my car when it happened because it caught me so off guard (_It literally has never happened while I was awake and cognitive). Of course she freaked out, having no idea what just occurred. I pulled over quickly but by the time I brought my vehicle to a stop, it was done. I literally had a massive pile of bowel in my underwear... I sat there silent, not moving a muscle as she looked at me completely perplexed... There was no hiding what just happened and no way we could go anywhere public with me having a bowel accident, and an assumably obvious one at that by the way it felt it my underwear. I was shaking and she asked me in a very caring way what was wrong.... I told her I couldn't say it. She assured me that I could tell/explain to her what was going on/happened... Mustering every bit of courage in me, I told her what had just happened. I literally told her these exact words... "*Her name* I can't believe I'm having to tell you this, but I'm afraid I've had an accident." I watched her eyes follow to the crotch of my pants and stare trying to make sense of what I had just said... She responded with, "I'm not quite sure I understand... Your pants aren't wet..." Swallowing my pride, "*Her name*, I have had a bowel accident." She simply replonded with, "I understand what you're saying now. Let's go to your place and get you cleaned up and changed." Literally nothing more was said...This woman was an absolute saint about it... Didn't laugh, nothing.... Literally offered for us to go back to my place and her help with whatever she needed to... I assured her I could "clean up" on my own and of course apologized profusely the whole way to my place to get changed... I had kept diapers on stand by and went ahead and put one on so that we could continue our semblance of a date without anymore worries... Bottom line is, she was absolutely amazing... Later in to bout evening, in just exchginging stories, she could tell how maybe something like this would have happened, and assured me not to be embarrassed by it because it was obviously something I had little to no control over...

But the tales continue... Just when I thought I was over that horribly embarrassing situation, here we were again...

Just tonight, I had gone out with friends to dinner. We were having a wonderful time catching up and all of a sudden I found myself urinating/having a bowel movement all over myself, sitting there, having dinner... No sensation of it needing to happen, and furthermore, no control...All of a sudden, I started feeling warm, wet, and solid bowel filling my underwear and l literally looked down and saw myself soaking my pants (_and felt them filling up with bowel)... I literally stopped talking mid-sentence and watched the nightmare transpire... And I couldn't stop it or make sense of it... Wetting/urinating/bowel accidents have only happened for me when I've literally been unconsciously aware... i.e. seizures, sleep, etc except for my date a few days prior, which I just thought was a fluke...

I'm literally at a loss! I've worn diapers/pull-ups in the past when it was absolutely necessary, but I avoid them at all cost if I can. Unfortunately, now it's getting to the point that I need the protection/lack of embarrassment.

I'm still in shock I have had 2 conscious bowel/bladder accident merely days apart from one another. I immediately scheduled a doctors appointment after the bowel accident on my date because there was literally no reason for it... They decided to do a head Cut Scan and it showed that scar tissue had grown more and was possibly causing the issue...

I need a better answer than "possibly". I literally, uncontrollably massively pooped my pants on a date... In my car... With her... And nothing to do but tell her what had happened... And then just days later, did the same thing....

How can you even have an intimate relationship being incontinent and 100% relying on protection... The minute clothes comes off and a diaper is exposed... Like, what???? What woman in this world would actually be calm if we were making love and I accidentally urinated/wet or had an unexpected bowel accident..!!!

Please tell me there's hope for me!!!