I am also into my second year but Im still struggling at times to believe ite all real. While I dont feel year two is worse I find its still very hard as the work of starting a new life begins. Year one was a year of survival, now I need to get out and buiild a new life even though I dont want to. I have yet to even go on a date but I have gone to few meetups. They work for me as I still am not looking for more than friends to share experiences work.. We all move forward at our own pace and I hope to get to the point where I feel comfortable sharing my life with another.
Russ

I am also in Year 2 and for me it represents a different set of challenges to year. Year 1 was survival mode just to get through the gut wrenching pain and sadness of the loss. Year 2 is the realization the loss is real and this is your new reality. With that comes the need to start the process of building a new life. Year 2 also taught me wherever I go and whatever I do my wife will always be part of it because of the profound influence she had on me. Year 2 still has grief waves but further apart and of shorter duration. The hole in my heart will always be there but I am learning to carry it with dignity and move forward. In Year 2 memories are not always painful, some can bring smiles of gratitude. Year 2 I have reclaimed hope which is huge.
There is no right or wrong way to travel through Year 1,2 or 3. We learn and grow as we move forward.

For me, year one was survival and handling affairs and year two was about adjusting to my new life. Moving into year four doesn't feel much different than year 3. I made a decision during that first year that I didn't want to wallow in my grief and that I wanted to move forward. I made myself go out socially with my friends and I put on a good face.

I'm a very independent person and even my husband realized that. I think everyone is different in how they move forward and each widow/er has a lot of choices to make about their new life. One thing I wanted to do and this might sound silly to some, but I wanted to become passionate about my needlework again. I forced myself to stitch that first year, but I didn't enjoy it.

In the past year, my passion has returned. I'm more passionate about it than when my husband was alive. I was worried about having a cheerleader and people viewing and enjoying my work. I've approached a local art gallery about displaying my work and I'm displaying my work for my online friends in cross stitch groups on facebook. I'm also venturing out and traveling to more stitching retreats this year. I've made some wonderful friends and some of those ladies travel alone.

During the first year my weekends were spent alone in front of the TV and now I spend the weekend at home engrossed in my needlework. I'm content in what my life is like and I hope I can continue to grow. Other stitchers are encouraging me to hop on a plane and visit them in Illinois, Texas, North Carolina, and Indiana.

We have to look at our situation as constantly changing and growing. We chose the direction and sometimes those choices are painful at first, but they can wonderful if we allow the change/growth to occur. One thing that I feel we are provided is free will.

I'm sure that others may disagree with my outlook.

Nessie from KY

Good for you, Mel. I know you have struggled a lot these past several months... and you seem to be finding more stability now. It is hard work...and really DOES require effort to put one foot in front of the other, day after day after day after day... But perseverance and a desire to see the positive things in life sets things in motion. Sounds like you have taken some very positive steps to honor your husband and to move forward.

I agree with you Nessie. It's a choice and it can be painful at first but it pays off.
I've noticed that there is always something that needs to be done at my house. Yep, that's the old me :)
I run myself ragged. That's the old me.
I've created a scholarship in honor of my husband. He was a high school principal. He would have told me "you don't need another project." In honor of him, after starting it, I am letting it go. It will go the next 5 years.
Some days, I had to force myself to go on. Keep moving. Keep believing that happiness was a possibility. It became a reality.
I am glad that you have your hobby. I have mine. It is constantly redoing my home and yard. That's what I enjoy :)