Careful is the word. But then, risks are always taken with meeting new people...no matter how you meet.

That is nice that you know all that about him. It is sure better than knowing nothing. It sure is a small world isn't it?

Went out with Brad tonight. Had dinner, and talked in the parking lot. When I got home, I realized it had been 3 hours. He's a very sweet guy, told him I wanted to go slow and be friends first. He's already asked me to go to dinner Friday night. My birthday was Saturday, and he had flowers sent to me at work. He hadn't even met me yet. He said I looked better in person, than the pictures, I had posted. Just didn't feel any sparks. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings. It's especially so, since he knew my husband. So confusing, this dating thing.

Very confusing.

That was so nice of him to send flowers. That had to be a big surprise.

I have been widowed for almost 13 years. For awhile I tried the online dating thing but I had so many close and very dangerous calls I am lucky to still be here. I want you all who meet guys online to be very very careful. Loneliness is terrible but it beats being raped or murdered by a predetor who is just lurking about watching for lonely women..especially grieving widows. I don't mean to be discouraging but I really have been there done that and even have some actual bruises to show for it.

Ditto to your reply about being hurt online dating. I was not physically hurt but got horribly hurt emotionally and am still battling to function 2 months after last seeing the guy. We corresponded for a month after we first met online and then he came to my country (I live in Africa) to visit me and stayed with me for 2 weeks. I fell head over heels in love with him but there were always red flags - however I let my heart take over and hoped my gut feeling was wrong. After he went back to his country I broke things off with him in the heat of the moment as I caught him still online dating and wanting to meet up with women (I set a trap for him with a false profile). He replied with the most vicious verbal attack on me as a person that I have ever received in my entire life and it left me shaken to the core. Then, just over 2 weeks ago, a woman contacted me from his country and said she'd found a personal text from me on his cell phone, and considering he had been living with her for a year, she was rather worried. So, right from the moment we started corresponding through to him coming to visit and staying in my house and bed with me - he had been spinning a web of lies and deceit. He told me he had not slept with a woman for 2 years!!!
Up until the stage the woman contacted me, I fell into a terrible state of deep depression, chronic insomnia, anxiety and stress. When she contacted me, I finally felt the missing pieces which had been bothering me all along added up, and felt a lot better.
Now that the anger has died off, I find myself still thinking about him all the time again and I am still in love with him. We are not in contact at all.
I feel used and abused - my husband died nearly 21 months ago and I was doing so well - I thought a bit of romance in my life would do me the world of good. How wrong i was. Had he been genuine, it would have been the best thing that ever happened to me but he was a lying, cheating, scumbag.
I cannot understand why I still have such strong feelings for him after all the things he did to me? I guess my mind is dwelling on all the good - he came across as kind, considerate, loving, easy to get along with and fun to be with and ALL my friends liked him. My mind keeps blocking out the despicable things he did.
I live in a small town in the outdoors in Africa and I have to try online dating if I ever want to find a soulmate again - there are no decent men here.
Yes, I understand we have to take risks and we can land up getting hurt or worse... but what else to do? Anyway, at this stage - all the guys on the dating site look like a bunch of jailbirds compared to the one I had - who in actual fact turned out to be a conman on par with a jailbird.
I am still very confused :(

Does anyone think maybe it would be better to state ourseves as single or divorced instead of widowed??? I am sure the guy I was talking about above was looking for a rich woman and a comfy life - for some reason they all think us widows are rich - which I am not!!

Dear BotsBushBaby -- what a horrible story. I am so terribly sorry that happened to you. it is so sad that there are people who prey on vulnerable widows this way. I hope and pray you will still find happiness and even love. There are many good men out there. Unfortunately, jerks like this give good men a bad rap.

Deauxgirl, you are wise to trust your gut. If you don't feel right about this guy, simply walk away. It's so difficult when we have loved and lost to use our head and our instincts instead of just our heart and emotions. i know from experience that I ignored many red flags early on in a dating relationship and ended up being used and cheated on. I had to learn the hard way. But that didn't stop me from searching and searching until I met a wonderful man. I just learned to be more cautious and trust my gut.

All the best to each one of you in your search.

To BotsBushBaby...I was advised by a very nice gentleman that I friended in the beginning through emails and phone calls that I should list myself as single instead of widowed. He was concerned about the guys out there who were looking to take advantage of women in our situation. Of course, in my case that would be a waste of time because I really don't have much to be taken advantage of materially. Eventually I changed it back to widow because I get the question all the time - "so how long have you been single?" I told someone today that I wasn't single by choice that I lost my husband a little over 3 years ago. I just prefer to be honest about it and just beware of any strange reaction to my status.