I just hit the 2 year mark too, it was a tough few days. I want desperately to move forward, but it is very slow moving, Reality is here, we must figure out how to enjoy the rest of our life. I don't have the answers. Glad you have met someone. I wish you nothing but the best.

Hi Russ:
I just hit two years angel-versary yesterday (March 1). I was not sure what the heck I was feeling, to be honest. The last several years of my Rob's illness were a living hell - so part of me feels relief it was over, finally. I'm still grieving, but I think now that I've moved to more acceptance, and more optimism about the future, than I had last year. Feeling more normal-ish... if that's a word! Also feeling more, I dunno, confident that I CAN

Russ, It most likely was the drive. I am extremely emotional when I drive. I just passed the 18 month mark and still have bad days/moments. But I am getting stronger everyday.
Stay strong my friend, Hugs, Sandi

Some people, say the second year is worst, because you have to face reality, that they aren't coming back. I know the long drive, probably forced you to think more about your wife. New feelings for someone, will be hard at first. It's a whole new world and we have to figure out what we want from it. Do you write out your feelings, journal? It really helps, to get it out on paper and helps clear the cobwebs. Good Luck.

Paula

@Paula - I would agree... I found the first year I was still feeling a bit 'numb' for lack of a better word. When the second birthdays, anniversaries, etc came up, the pain seemed more intense. Others I've spoken to in my group here said the same thing.
@Russ - it might also be that the stirring of your emotions with meeting the new lady has pulled up some of the old. If we need to function on 'auto-pilot' just to get by, and ignore the emotions, we willingly do that... but then something will trigger.
I'm glad to hear you acknowledge that you need to release some of the sadness... some people I know just repress it, and go into denial. It tends to come back and 'bite' you - as inappropriate anger, or illnesses. Good for you for having courage.
- Jac

Russ, those new feelings can become quite confusing mixed with missing your late wife. At least, that's my experience. Even now, my mind and heart can be quite busy battling it out. I'm still quite territorial about the life I had before. Kids. Home.
Glad you are feeling something other than grief. I remember the relief I felt when I realized that not everything I felt was related to that grief! It was like a breath of fresh air (I worried that I had lost my mind.)
Good luck Russ! There is room in our hearts for more than one love!

Russ, I am sure the drive did not help. When I do a long drive, I still have to stop to cry because that was something we shared and driving brings me back to our time together, our jokes during the drive, etc. the fact that I kept his car does not help either. The two year mark, last month, was also for me a difficult time. I did cry a lot on that week.

Like you, I have met someone and I have emotions which are not related to grieving, but sometimes they mix. I guess it is one more step forward recovery. Luckily my new someone is sympathetic to my plight. Mixed feelings...

I wish you all the best. Viviane.

It feels as though meeting someone I care about has opened a flood of emotions hidden away. Its hard to make sense of them but it sure has made me emotional. I also feel shes in a place where she probably wont open up and let me in which makes me think we should stop sooner than later. But how can you stop when it feels so right? I guess Im at the point I want someone special in my life and to think I may have found her only for her to not be ready is hard.

Russ, I love the way you expressed how this lady is feeling. "found her only for her to not be ready is hard."
The exact thing has happened to me. I have found someone that I am totally into and now he has backed off. I think he is scared and confused about being with a widow.
I will pray that things turn out the way they should be for both of us.
Hugs, Sandi