HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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/ HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Support Group

trying to move forward

bluewater3
bluewater3
Hi everyone, thanks for allowing me to post my worries here. I've just met a man after almost 4 lonely long yrs of widowhood. I,
I've tried to meet men but have not been able to. I think I just wasn't ready but now I'm really ready or so I thought. I met a nice man who I think could have some potential for a nice relationship and I'm so scared to give to much of myself. I've wanted it more then anything and now that there's a chance I'm backing away. I don't know how to date anymore and I keep comparing my dh to this new man which I know isn't good but I just can't stop. Part of me just wants to give up and tell him I'm not ready and walk away but I don't want to let my fears ruin a chance for happiness. I can't imagine being intimate with someone else. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to move forward while keeping my fear to a minimum. Thanks so much and hugs to you all. Lori
limasc
limasc
Dating again no matter how long it's been since your loss is difficult. My advice is to start very slow and be friends first. Try not to put to much pressure on yourself or the potential for a relationship. Just be open and honest, give yourself time when you need it, and enjoy getting to know someone knew and making a new friend. If it feels right to pursue more, then take the next step at that time. It's easy to let your mind wander and get ahead of yourself. Go day by day, or date by date. Good luck to you.
deauxgirl
deauxgirl
Lori,

It's hard not to want to talk about your husband, but for the first few dates, you should just try to have fun. Do anything, that makes you laugh. A walk in the park, bowling, comedy show, outdoor concert. It's all about getting to know each other. If there is no pressure for a relationship, you can be yourself.

Paula