HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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mel40 09/14/2015

It's who "we" are. It's all so new. It's all so crazy. There's no past of getting through difficulties or problems. "We" are 8 months old. I'm amazed at how I love him. I'm scared by how much I love him. When I spend time with him, I'm in the right place. When we part, I immediately miss him. I am so confused that I could feel this kind of love for another man...after 8 months. It's very much like the love I had for the man who passed early 2013.
I want logic. I want explanations. I want to understand. More than anything, I want the security. Knowing that it's ok. Knowing that I'm not crazy. Knowing that I won't lose another great love in my life for a while. It's as scary as it feels wonderful.
I just try to focus on the real part, and that's what I can give. True love.

kkg17 09/15/2015

You must be a loving, and lovable person, lucky in love. Embrace it! Enjoy! Thank your lucky stars and be grateful. Happy for you.
What you are describing is how I felt about the amazing man I just lost...my second husband.

woodfencing 09/15/2015

It's OK. We always open ourselves up to a possibility of losing another love when we find another. That's just a chance we have to take. In the long run, if we really love them, it's worth it. Take care.
Dianne

Meboysmom 09/15/2015

I think it was a surprise to me to find that I could love another man and still love my lost love also. Our hearts are so awesome! Enjoy the trip Bonnie

dcheramie 09/15/2015

you are NOT crazy, and I am so happy to see someone who can feel this way again.. It gives me so much hope that I will be able too feel that way again someday as well

Jacuzzi63 09/15/2015

Oh, how I envy you, Mel. But at the same time, I can appreciate how scared you are...
Everyday we have is a bonus. Every joy we can embrace is a gift.
The logic is that your heart is an elastic, stretchy organ, and it can expand to fit as many people as you choose to love.
The explanation is that you chose to be brave, take a risk, and look for love again. And lucky you, you've found it.
I wish you many, many happy blessed years together.

regwin 09/15/2015

Mel, I too am so happy when I read your posts. Your heart is so full of love for him. He must be a gem. You are young enough to look forward to a wonderful future together. Yes, embrace this gift. Dolores

letmehelpyou 09/16/2015

I asked my aunt about this when I started seeing Pat. She remarried after being widowed in her 40s and had a wonderful marriage with her second husband for 30 years. Her advice: "Kiddo, don't overthink it, enjoy what you have, while you have it and know the future holds no guarantees."

Hugs,
Val

Shrn 09/19/2015

I was scared too. Especially when Artie began having health issues. We are both older than you and we have to be realistic about the future. No one knows more than us that things can change when you least expect it. So cherish the day and laugh and make life worthwhile. Sharon

rebl3157 09/20/2015

Letmehelpyou I love your aunts advice!

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