My sweetie passed on 1 Sept 17. I haven’t met anyone either. I finished a doctorate and graduated 25 Aug 2019. I’m glad that I’m finished with the doctorate. I hoping the doctorate will help me a promotion to a GS-14. I did have one interview. I thought I did well but I didn’t get the job. I would like a friend. I would love to have more. I have never been married and I don’t have any children. I would love to be married but we would definitely have to start with friendship. 2017 and 2018 was a nightmare. I have siblings but they were no support at all. I ran around doing for them the entire year. There was drama after drama. Trying to be close with them always ends the same way, me doing and doing. It’s like dragging a old Cadillac on flats up a hill. Not worth it. So now I tell everyone I have no family. Three most important people to me are gone and I feel alone.

I am not close to anyone either. My siblings live clear across the country, as do two of my sons. I am older, and now I have a bum hand, so if my prospects were few before, they are less now. I am just sitting here in the house and drying up. I want to move really bad. No one seems to think I should even desire another relationship, but that's because many have not been in our shoes. The widows I know have jobs, plus lots of kids and grand kids nearby. My fear is that if a person lives alone long enough, they end up settling for that. It becomes like an old shoe - comfortable but not good quality. There's a new man at my church, but I think he's married. Even if he's divorced or widowed, he's an old boy. Too tall, beak nose, orthopedic shoes, squeaky voice. I want someone close to my age, because I just don't think I could handle another loss - or be a caregiver again.

Congrats on your doctorate! I wouldn't get discouraged after one interview turn down. I'm sure something will come along. I know what it's like to not have adequate support. I know that all too well...

A little drama I like, but like you, I have had more than my share.