HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
After losing my wife last year, I ventured into online dating unsuccessfully...too many scammers and insincerity along with more women seeking short-term relationships than long-term ones. Then a couple of dinner dates, which didn't go progress.
Next up was speed-dating...this was interesting...I get to interact with a dozen or so ladies...I went to two events on back-to-back Fri/Sat nights with no expectations, just to have a good time...and I did.
Didn't want to nor get the chance to check available matches until Sunday evening after I had come home from work and fallen asleep after reading my Bible.
Had 1 match from the 1st night and 2 from the second night. There was one lady in particular that I was really hoping I matched with...and I did!!
I was in the midst of composing an e-mail and I get one from (let's call her Bebe)...before I could send it out she was calling me!
First, a little background here...Bebe was divorced and I am widowered...she has no children and I have one.
It was great...we talked for over an hour and agreed I would call her on Monday evening to let her know where we would go out to dinner Tuesday. Now the drama begins...my 2nd job calls, needing me to work 1/2 a shift that evening...prob is I do not have Bebe's #, because she had blocked it when she called me. So now I have to race home to pull it off my e-mail(I thought I would be home, so no need to have her # with me during the day) and race back...made it only 6 mins late...previous shift was ok with that, since it was a last-minute call in.
Last thing I wanted was her calling me, when I had promised to call her...not a good 1st impression.
We agreed on a place for dinner...she was an absolute doll...the place closes at 10pm, but they let us stay- all the while holding hands across the table and learning more about each other-until11pm. She had the
sweeter-than-the sweetest-honey kisses and bone-crushing hugs...what more could a guy ask for?
I never had a woman talk to me the way Bebe did, nor look at me the way she did, with her beautiful eyes showing so much heart-felt emotion, Of course , I felt the same way.
We had such a connection with each other...we went out on a few more dates as days turned into weeks...not sure if we had any initial chemistry, but we were rapidly developing one! Everyday texts and calls were routine for us as we grew to know one another and our feelings for each other deepened.
Even made dinner together twice, proving we could work together.
After 7 weeks, we didn't say it...probably both afraid to...but we were pretty much in love.
Spent a couple of days on outdoor dates as the weather became more summer-like.
Then all of a sudden there was no communication on Monday...I texted 2x to no avail....waited for her to call(she frequently worked late hours and it was easier for her to determine what time we talked)...nothing.
Tuesday...texted her one more time, this time with a serious concern about what was going on with her...then called and her voicemail was full...no response again.
I was leaving work Wed eve when I got a call that I could not pick up in time, but fortunately they left a message, and I saw that it was from a blocked #. Hoping it was from Bebe, I accessed the message and it was from Bebe's mom asking me to call her later. I thought wow, maybe she is in the hospital,explaining the non-contact.
After leaving 2 messages , I waited for her to call...she did an hour later.
It was all bad...Bebe had died in her sleep Mon am...between our tears we only spoke for less than a minute, but her mom managed to convey the point that Bebe had spoken so highly of me, and it took them awhile to find my # on her phone, so they had to call me, but I missed her funeral services. I am crushed...I had lost my wife to cancer last year...so in the span of 1 year, two loves lost. This is all so shocking...went to work today, but was shaking like a leaf and legs felt like jello. Surreal is not even the word.
Where do I go from here?
Bebe had so much sadness in her life...maybe GOD used me to bring some happiness into her life...I told her I would care for her for the rest of her life...We just didn't know it was only going to be 50 days...so horribly sad that it is over, but still glad I had the opportunity to love and be loved...no greater happiness for me.
Thanks for reading and May GOD Bless...
Alex
Next up was speed-dating...this was interesting...I get to interact with a dozen or so ladies...I went to two events on back-to-back Fri/Sat nights with no expectations, just to have a good time...and I did.
Didn't want to nor get the chance to check available matches until Sunday evening after I had come home from work and fallen asleep after reading my Bible.
Had 1 match from the 1st night and 2 from the second night. There was one lady in particular that I was really hoping I matched with...and I did!!
I was in the midst of composing an e-mail and I get one from (let's call her Bebe)...before I could send it out she was calling me!
First, a little background here...Bebe was divorced and I am widowered...she has no children and I have one.
It was great...we talked for over an hour and agreed I would call her on Monday evening to let her know where we would go out to dinner Tuesday. Now the drama begins...my 2nd job calls, needing me to work 1/2 a shift that evening...prob is I do not have Bebe's #, because she had blocked it when she called me. So now I have to race home to pull it off my e-mail(I thought I would be home, so no need to have her # with me during the day) and race back...made it only 6 mins late...previous shift was ok with that, since it was a last-minute call in.
Last thing I wanted was her calling me, when I had promised to call her...not a good 1st impression.
We agreed on a place for dinner...she was an absolute doll...the place closes at 10pm, but they let us stay- all the while holding hands across the table and learning more about each other-until11pm. She had the
sweeter-than-the sweetest-honey kisses and bone-crushing hugs...what more could a guy ask for?
I never had a woman talk to me the way Bebe did, nor look at me the way she did, with her beautiful eyes showing so much heart-felt emotion, Of course , I felt the same way.
We had such a connection with each other...we went out on a few more dates as days turned into weeks...not sure if we had any initial chemistry, but we were rapidly developing one! Everyday texts and calls were routine for us as we grew to know one another and our feelings for each other deepened.
Even made dinner together twice, proving we could work together.
After 7 weeks, we didn't say it...probably both afraid to...but we were pretty much in love.
Spent a couple of days on outdoor dates as the weather became more summer-like.
Then all of a sudden there was no communication on Monday...I texted 2x to no avail....waited for her to call(she frequently worked late hours and it was easier for her to determine what time we talked)...nothing.
Tuesday...texted her one more time, this time with a serious concern about what was going on with her...then called and her voicemail was full...no response again.
I was leaving work Wed eve when I got a call that I could not pick up in time, but fortunately they left a message, and I saw that it was from a blocked #. Hoping it was from Bebe, I accessed the message and it was from Bebe's mom asking me to call her later. I thought wow, maybe she is in the hospital,explaining the non-contact.
After leaving 2 messages , I waited for her to call...she did an hour later.
It was all bad...Bebe had died in her sleep Mon am...between our tears we only spoke for less than a minute, but her mom managed to convey the point that Bebe had spoken so highly of me, and it took them awhile to find my # on her phone, so they had to call me, but I missed her funeral services. I am crushed...I had lost my wife to cancer last year...so in the span of 1 year, two loves lost. This is all so shocking...went to work today, but was shaking like a leaf and legs felt like jello. Surreal is not even the word.
Where do I go from here?
Bebe had so much sadness in her life...maybe GOD used me to bring some happiness into her life...I told her I would care for her for the rest of her life...We just didn't know it was only going to be 50 days...so horribly sad that it is over, but still glad I had the opportunity to love and be loved...no greater happiness for me.
Thanks for reading and May GOD Bless...
Alex
I guess it's the risk we take, looking for love again later in life, knowing we all have fewer days ahead of us than behind us. But I'm still willing to try, even knowing that.
I hope friends and family can help you through this second loss, Alex. I wish you peace and comfort. God bless.
Paula
I am so very sorry you had this happen to you. I agree with the previous posts that for some reason you were meant to be with her and that you made her very happy in the short times you had together. And you're right that there's no greater feeling than to love and be loved. Don't give up on it......
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Pam