Good for you! Hang in there as we have been through so much.

I find myself on the same emotional 'run'. For me it's a bad coping mechanism to protect myself from any further abandonment. I have a great guy we decided when I'm pushy even if it's my tone he'll say the keyword to let me know I don't notice that I do it. The keyword is kiss, maybe it can help you like it's helped me.
Jamie

I think we all have issues or baggage we bring into a relationship. It becomes can you handle each other's baggage. I mean, let's face it, we are who we are and to me relationship means you take all of it. I may have misunderstood, but is he trying to change who you are? It just sent up a red flag to me, because I think you're pretty good baggage included. Sharon

I find myself on the same emotional 'run'. For me it's a bad coping mechanism to protect myself from any further abandonment. I have a great guy we decided when I'm pushy even if it's my tone he'll say the keyword to let me know I don't notice that I do it. The keyword is kiss, maybe it can help you like it's helped me.
Jamie

I don't think he is trying to change me, just understand me.
I am trying to understand me too.

I have met someone. He is great and we are having a lot of fun getting to know each other. He told me that I am guarded. I thought about it and realized that I am because I am terrified of losing someone I love. He also said I have difficulty expressing myself. I have used humor to help me cope with life.
Mel, your right there are challenges in dating a widow but we have experienced a great love we know how to love and we want to live life and experience love again.

It's such a risk, isn't it! As we've all walked this journey of grief, we know how painful it has been. It taken so much hard work to get to this place. The thought of ever having to do it again scares the you-know-what out of me! But I also know, that I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.

I've recently begun dating via Match.com. I've only met one so far that I would even consider for a second date. I had out-of-town company for a week, so held off from seeing him again for almost 2 weeks. And will start fresh tomorrow. He's a very nice man, but I'm not sure if we have enough in common to sustain a long-term relationship. It will certainly be a good test to see if I can keep my heart open.

It is weird to feel like a a teenager at this age. All the giddiness that goes along with "dating". Hopefully it will be counterbalanced by the wisdom (and caution!) gained from life's experience…

Good topic and definitely the one we can all relate to.

He and I have talked about this topic several times. Last night he was over and we talked about it again. He told me he doesn't want me to change or rush anything. He said he understands it is a process and wants me to let that process happen naturally.
I feel very lucky to have this kind of support. He just tells me what he sees and asks what it's about. He did tell me that it's been very hard to date me because of how guarded I've been.
Guarding my heart.
Guarding my family.
Guarding my life.
At times, he's thought that I wasn't interested in him because of the walls I had up.
Some of these walls were erected in my marriage. They kept other men at bay. They kept my personal information private. They kept my relationship with my husband and kids safe.
What an interesting process to go through. Even more interesting to have someone who sees it and tell me that it is so foreign to him... But he's been reading up on it and he understands. It shocks him!
What shocks him more than anything is that I could be with someone for 24 years and be willing to date again after one year. (Well, he's pretty cute and we have a lot of fun together.)
Thanks for all the expressions on here. It's good to know that I am not alone in this journey.