HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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mel40 04/14/2015

I opened my heart. I fell for this guy. It was easy. Now, I'm struggling with anxiety over fear of losing him too. Damn PTSD. It just kinda appeared over the last week. After he and my kids met, I had a lost feeling. Took me a minute to figure it out. I'm in now. 100%. And I'm afraid of losing him.
Any advice? Or suggestions? It's not crippling. Just makes me feel very vulnerable and my heart feels like it's sinking. Should I tell him? Take the power away from it? Or give it time? I just don't know and this is new. I don't want to make my problems his cross to bear.

hgsdms 04/14/2015

I don't have any advice because that is one thing that is holding me back from loving completely again. Hopefully someone wise will answer and give you some good suggestions. Big AZ hugs coming your way Mel.

horsepad 04/14/2015

I have fallen 75% for the man I am dating. He says he is in love and hopes someday we marry or live together, whatever I want. We have been dating 3 months. I too have recently developed those fears. He doesn't know my fears, I don't want him to know. At 3 months, I don't feel we really know each other. Right now everything is new, we are infatuated. I think it's the infatuation that makes me fearful and as our relationship grows, those fears will go away. . He knows I cannot say I am in love with him because I am not 100% sure. When I feel more secure in "us", I will tell him and we can laugh about it.

woodfencing 04/15/2015

Try not to panic I think we carry fear around with us like a second shadow after our beloveds die. It's something I have come to live with I just try to make it stay in the background I'm a bit over 7 years now. Remarried for 4 years. My "new" husband had colon cancer 7 months ago. It's still in some of his lymph nodes But he seems to be doing OK. At least for now. Exactly the reason I told everyone I didn't want to remarry Fear. Anxiety. But if I could do it all over again I would do it all the same.
Everything will work out. Whether you share with your boyfriend depends. How close are you two? How badly do you feel the need to share? Personally, if it were me I would try to figure out more precisely what I was anxious about first. Are you afraid he'll die? Dump you? Maybe anxious about your future? And then I'd probably share. But I am not you. Although we all share the same devastating experience, we are all unique people. Again, try not to worry too much and enjoy these experiences. My thoughts are with you.
Dianne

Meboysmom 04/15/2015

"New" is scary. Take it one day at a time. One thing I learned from my loss is that every day is precious but it could be the only day I have. Try and remember that if it ends tomorrow you are better off than you were for knowing him! Relax and try not to make it a huge deal!! (Easily said you know!!) Bonnie

mel40 04/20/2015

I shared. He feels exactly the same way. We have found something very good and see each other once a week. The fear is residual from loss. For me, death, for him, divorce. We both agreed to not let it get the best of us, enjoy each day and each other and focus on the good.
Focus on the good...
Focus on the good...
Focus on the good...

letmehelpyou 04/20/2015

That is all you can do. Focus on the good and be honest with each other.

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