HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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deauxgirl 05/01/2011

I've decided that I will just see guys as friends. There are too many, that want to rush into a relationship. If they don't like that, they can hit the road.

I had to break Brad's heart Friday, and it hurt like hell. I didn't feel any sparks, he just wasn't my type, whatever that is. I told him, it was because it felt weird because he worked with my husband. I just thought it wouldn't hurt him as much, as that I didn't feel the chemistry between us. He was not too upbeat or active.

I'm going to Jazz Fest today with a co-worker, that is 12 yrs. younger than me, but he knows, it is just friends, and will always be that. I invited him, because he just moved here last year and is on his own. I wanted to go really bad, because Arlo Guthrie is playing. We have alot in common, so I felt I would be comfortable spending a whole day with him. He's a bakery manager at a different store.

I'm talking to 2 other guys I haven't met yet, one knows, just friends, the other I've just started emailing, so I will let anyone know, friends first, and maybe only. Since I have just started dating, I think this is better for me. Talk about getting a toe in the water. So far I've had 2 different guys want to be serious right off the bat, and then get cold feet. I think I want it to be me, that gets cold feet first. No attachments right now.

I was listening to some Arlo on youtube today, and didn't realize how much I enjoy music. Music was my husband's passion and hobby. He lived, breathed, studied, etc. music. He had a music room, where I still have all his albums, tapes, books, 8 tracks, audio equipment, etc. I guess it rubbed off on me. I love folk music. Bluegrass, Blues, etc. I have listening to Christian music mostly, and there is some great artists out there, but I'm going to make sure to listen to different venues.

Hope everyone has a great day.

deleted_user 05/01/2011

Arlo is one of my faves too. I used to play "Alice's Restaurant" for my buddies in Vietnam....they would request I play it almost every night, because we all could relate to his "draft board" adventure :) Even though we didn't end up on the Group W bench....or get arrested for littering.

Have fun at Jazz Fest and tell Arlo "Alice's Restaurant" made a bunch of GIs happy in Vietnam :)

Loran

deleted_user 05/01/2011

I'm sure you'll find a few different venues at Jazz Fest to enjoy. I always enjoyed music....just about every kind there is. But I felt for a while that the music died when my husband did. It came back though and now the only time I'm completely without it is at work. Drives me nuts without it too but the boss is a stickler for silence. (I need a different job.)

Friends first is always best, and from what I've seen in life, lasting.

Enjoy your day! (You lucky dog! I wanna be there!)

deauxgirl 05/01/2011

Well, Jazz Fest was fun, it was too hot, food was good. The best group we saw by mistake, went early for seats for Arlo. We got to see Amanda Shaw, Marsha Bell, and Trombone Shorty, with Glen Davis Andrews. That show rocked. Arlo didn't sing any of Alice's Restaurant, a little disappointed with that, but all the other songs were good, and he is so funny, with his stories. He can back twice to sing, so that was really nice. His son sings and plays the organ. Got to see quite a few groups at the Gospel Tent too. Crazy people out there, but that's New Orleans.

deleted_user 05/02/2011

Too hot is a GOOD thing! That means you didn't go home covered in mud! What did your friend think about it all? Oh, and tell me about the FOOD! Have any crawfish monica?

deleted_user 05/02/2011

I am so jealous...Arlo Guthrie!!! Lucky girl.

Be careful about the guys on line who are just looking for friends. Most of them want friends with benefits. :(

deauxgirl 05/02/2011

Riverbends, I can eat Crawfish Monica anyday. I had a Coucan de lait po boy, and crawfish enchiladas. The guy I went with, had a crawfish pie, soft shell crab po boy, and roasted duck po boy. My friend loved the fest, wanted to go back next week, but he'll be going without me, once was enough. I got my fix.

deleted_user 05/04/2011

Well, neener, neener....you can eat that ANY day. :-) Last time I was there I had the couchon de lait. I'm craving some crawfish pie up here, but a friend of mine here, also from NOLA, will be going home in a few weeks. She's gonna make groceries for us. YAY! I can make my own then!

deauxgirl 05/04/2011

I used to work for the company that makes Crawfish Monica, I stopped and talked to Monica, when I was there, but it was too early to eat. We sell Crawfish Monica at work. They have started selling the sauce to the grocery stores. I also made it for the guys in Grand Isle when I went to see Don. Didn't mean to rub it in your face. Haydel's ships out Crawfish Monica too. You know it's just a light cream sauce with cajun seasoning in it?

JudiB 05/10/2011

Deauxgirl, I might have to try your approach by saying it to the guys that I want to be just friends. Evidently putting it in your profile just gets overlooked. And about that chemistry thing...ummm...I had invited the guy over to watch a Saints game near the end of last season, it was a Monday night game and had made dinner and all. We ate, watched the entire game, had some good conversation and at the end of the evening after he left I thought to myself, well that was that, no chemistry at all. But a week or so later went to a concert, gave it another chance with him, and I don't know where it came from but when he kissed me that night, all I can say is wow! He's the one I saw for 3 months before he ended things so abruptly. Never will understand that. But my point is sometimes the chemistry doesn't appear until later and when it did, well...there was no denying it.

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