I think I would go ahead and mix the family. The girls might become best friends? And now days everyone lives together and never get that piece of paper. If I were younger, I would!!!

Mel: No good answers here. Pat and I bounce back and forth between two houses and he spends a lot of time traveling for work. We talk about three times a day when he is traveling, once in the morning, just a brief, love you have a good day, for about an hour in the late afternoon, and about an hour before we go to bed at night. The review of the day and the normal conversation helps when he is away, but still not the same as having him fight me over the TV control.
Hugs,
Val

I know how you feel. I have never been alone since I was born until my husband died. I too am in love and I rarely get to spend the night with my boyfriend because of my grandchildren. It would be so much easier for me if we could live together but......... I wanna move slow, patience is a virtue........ etc. I try to keep my heart in check and look at how my decisions will affect my childrens life, my future and I start thinking objectively, rationally with my head and not my heart. If you are going to get married why live together? Why are you waiting a year?

A year goes by in the blink of an eye...Devil's advocate but if this a choice you made together why not stick it out? It will give you time to continue growing as a couple while taking into consideration the needs of your daughters. It could be a perfect time to do things together so that the girls could form a bound as opposed to just being thrown together. This is a fragile age for young girls and building a strong foundation now could make life easier later.

Mel,
Is your fear of being alone something that could be worked on? When I got married I went straight from my parent's house to living with my husband. He had a job where he travelled a bit so early on I was afraid of being on my own but, I got used to him being away and I just enjoyed it, I got to enjoy watching what I wanted on tv and not cooking. I got used to enjoying my own company.
Hope it all works out for you. :)

Antonella

I don't have any children living with me anymore.

I'd have a talk with your daughter and see how she would feel about it.......she might surprise you.

You never really know someone until you live with them. It might be a good idea to live together for awhile before taking that final step.

Minus the being scared at night part I can relate (even if I was scared I could not admit that and shatter my very manly reputation!). I've been with a woman for almost a year and a half and I see this as a long term commitment. We curretnly live 35 miles away. While not drastic it does prove tricky, especially since I have my young daughter, who is starting school in September. We see each other every weekend and the occasional week night if something works out, but it is not nearly as often as either of us would like. The logical solution would be to move in together but that could be tricky as well. We're both very much rooted in our respective areas for different reasons. I'm also not sure if that would confuse my daughter in any way so I wouldn't do that just for my own sake. If we were engaged (or become engaged some day) I think that would make it less confusing for her. Hope you can figure something out.

With children involved that is a tricky situation. They defiantly have to fit into the equation of how well it would work. The more time the children can interact the better. Weekends maybe, long ones?

JP! What is taking you so long??? Lol!
Thank you all for the insight and suggestions. The fear comes from watching crime shows where single women are attacked late at night. I'm not reall afraid, just temporarily because of one of the shows I watched.
I don't really want to live together before getting married. I know I love him and want him as my partner in life. He does too. We have a great deal of respect for each other. We don't want to confuse either daughter either. His daughter has just started college in a neighboring state. We won't have weekends with her until thanksgiving. My daughter is growing up very quickly! She will graduate from high school in 2 years. I want her to have a great life, wherever that may be.
He lives about 35 miles from me and we both live close to out jobs. In January, I can begin the process of finding a new job closer to where he is but my daughter will be a senior in one year. Patience... It's tough... I know what I want. More than anything, I want to make sure that he feels loved and secure. He is now an empty nester and I worry about that.
It's been an interesting journey. Two weeks ago, he went car shopping with me and told me that it was fun. He really enjoyed it. Lol! You can see why I want to hang on to this man!

Do you like dogs? I feel very safe with mine at night, which is one reason I don’t mind living alone now!
They wouldn’t let anyone attack their mama...The knuckleheads even bark and scare friends and family...not to mention innocent people out for a little stroll...
Enjoy precious time with your daughter. I admire you for putting her first now.

I had my dog put down last week. It was another tie to my late husband. It was awful. I don't even want to think about it. I came home and she was struggling to breathe. I took her into the ER VET. They said cardiac arrest. She was struggling to breathe. Our cat died March 24 this year. The 2 year anniversary of my late husband's death. No more pets..... No more death.... I can't take the responsibility of making the decision to put an animal down..... Or coke hole to find a dead pet...

My "daughter problem " came when we were dating. Although my husband was my first and only love until I met Art, we wanted to be together permanently. My daughter continued to complain when I was at Art's or he was here. Of course, she was older than your daughter, and that does make a difference, but in time spending time with both of us helped a lot. We got to know each others children and it helped. Sharon

Thanks Sharon! I'm trying to be patient. I guess my patience is growing or being stretched. Something. I will try to hang on....

Mel:

I too often watch those true crime shows. I love them. When you are alone in a quiet house at night without someone talking to you, it does tend to get weird. You hear every noise and pay attention to it, trying to figure out what it was.

I lived by myself for awhile then moved in with my daughter and her family for a 1-1/2 I met a wonderful man that I have now know about 9 months and we just got a home together. That being said, my adult children are still having a hard time accepting him. My son couldn't understand how I wanted to be with someone else. He felt that if I really loved my former husband, I would not want anyone else in my life. My daughter 35 said she understood, but deep down she doesn't understand how I could pick someone sooo different and not athletic and into sports like her dad was. She told me she had nothing in common with him and could never hold a conservation with him.

What I am trying to say is take baby steps with teenage girls. They say they understand, but will give you a hard time all the way. Let them get use the fact that you have really moved on. Not that you wanted to, but these were the cards that were dealt to us. It will be three years in October since my husband left this earth, and I still wish everyday that I had my life back the way it used to be. We change just like the seasons do, but it still takes time.