I was fortunate to speak to a very solid Christian woman who lost her husband 30 years ago, last night. I asked if the sadness ever goes away. She said that she still thinks about her late husband at least once a day. She still has quiet moments. She said you never get over it, it changes you, if you really loved him. But there can be room in your heart for 2 loves. She started dating about a year later and had teenage kids. She remarried. She says one of her kids HATED her new husband and anyone she dated. Eventually, that changed. It took years.
I asked about nights after remarrying. She said that it definitely helps. And it can actually be better with someone else.
She shared stories of others who she knew that had lost a spouse and remarried. She shared a story of one who chose not to remarry. She said "Take a chance at love again." It is good to love again, to have companionship, to have help, to have someone.
I was sad to hear that I will never get over it but it gave me peace at the same time. I can get comfortable with it. It's going to be there, no matter what.
Her stories of remarriage were sweet, hopeful and helpful. One widow was 80 and found someone. :)
She said she would pray that I find someone. I told her I am willing to take a chance. I have given myself permission to live and love.
Her advice to me- nobody can live your life for you, follow your heart and you won't go wrong, some people may not agree with you; even your kids, but you did not die with Mike even though it may have felt like it.
I wanted to share because there probably aren't many 30 year widows on here to impart wisdom to the rest of us!