I lost my husband of 28 years this past October. It was sudden, brain aneurism. He died instantly in front of me and my children. I have 5. 25, 22, 21, 17 & 15. and 2 grandchildren 1 & 4. which makes our grief so much more. Jim, my husband was my everything. We had been together since we were 16. so a grand total of 31 years together. I feel like I have actually had a total nervous breakdown. Every morning, when I wake up, I realize I'm having to face yet another day without my soul mate and I tremble with fear. Actually tremble. Doctor has me on medication to keep me calm. There wasn't enough life insurance to pay off the house, so now we are also facing having to sell our home , which will also be more change for our family. Help ! I don't know how to face each day, I find myself thinking every moment how I'm without him and keep a sick feeling in my stomach. Have lost 18 pounds, hardly not wanting to eat. It's almost like I'm paralyzed and don't want to move forward. I barely get thru each day, doing only what I need to do and nothing more. I want to smile and be strong for my children, but all I do is cry. We are a Christian family and I've cried out to God so many times why ? why now ? My husband was only 48. I wake up each morning, pray and read a small passage of the bile but still - every day I cry. When is the pain ever going to subside ? Will I ever have any joy in my life. ? Jim was my everything, my absolute everything....