I've been seeing this guy for 5 months. He tells me that he loves me and that he's lucky to be with me. He always acts so excited to be with me. We go out about once a week. Lately, he brings up his ex girlfriend. They broke up in October of last year. He never speaks poorly of anyone in the past. That's a good character trait. Yet, the fact that he's bringing her up concerns me. He tells me stories from the past and she is always a part of it. He tells me other stories too. But, the last few times I have been with him, he's brought her up. A few nights ago, I was talking to him about "us" and he brought her up. I was dumbfounded. He looked at me and said "you just changed. What happened?" When I explained, he apologized, profusely.
Yet, last night, he brought her up again.
My thoughts are that he has unfinished business with this woman and I need to step out of the picture. I think he was in love with her and still is. I also think it's unfair for me to talk about my late husband and expect him to not talk about his ex girlfriend. But, it actually makes sense to me.
Now, I have to figure out how to break up with someone and tell them to go back to their love. It's hard. I wish I had that option, to return, too. I don't have unfinished business with my late husband. It was complete.
Here's to this new life, new relationships, new bridges to cross and hopefully maintaining friendship.