Why to separate these concepts choosing to love someone is believing he is your soul mate? unless... here the dividing line, ... unless you marriage is based on other rational....say ..practicality,. good luck with that then...
Why to proudly manifest he is not your soul mate?

I grew up during this time period when it was preached that God has made one person for you. Save yourself for them. The ideal mate is a bad concept. It leads people to fantasize, rather than accept reality. I know that a couple years into my marriage, I discovered that my husband was not ideal. He was human. He had faults. I tried really hard to change him, it didn't work. I read the article as "take people as they are". Love because you choose to love. I did eventually learn to do that. :) after my husband passed, very close friends would tell me that I would love again, but that conflicted with my belief that "there was only one for me". I was hurt and angry. I wondered how they could say that!!??? But, in truthfulness, loving people is a choice. Maybe there will be someone else. Maybe God didn't really screw me over in this life, leaving me a young widow who has learned how to love. Another incident that created conflict for me was an older woman, 95, telling me that there is no marriage in heaven. My husband and I wouldn't be together for eternity. It created a struggle for me. When I choose, I can go out and meet people. When I choose, I can open myself up. When I choose, I may actually be ready to have love again.

Don't let anyone feed you negative crap. you wil definitely be with him again

My belief is that we are cross each other path in this life for reason.
I am not imposing this on others, but that what each person means to me. As people say some for reason, some for a season, and some for a life time.
As far as relationship, G-d does not want you to be alone, it is biblical. If it is supposed to happen it will happen, don't worry what other people say, or how they interpret our circumstances.
It seems to me that you have a warm personality and want to share your warmth with a partner, so be it whenever you are ready, and when a right person comes along.
Your heart will heal, and you will get stronger, and hopefully everything will change for better.
Hug

A young man is just back from Vietnam. By pure chance he meets a young student nurse. For both of them it is "love and first sight". A few months later they are married. They have two children and a wonderful, loving and supportive life together for 50 years.

Was it Gods "plan". Were they "soul mates". Was it just serendipity? The truth is that it simply doesn't matter. We live life day-to-day, and we make choices because life moves on. Given the choice -- always opt for happiness.

My son, at 19, informed me (one week before doing it) that he was getting his own apartment. 2 days before he moved, he introduced me to his new roommate, Roxanne. She had a 6 month old son. Later, I discovered that she left her husband who was 27 for my son..... She is 21. She complains about her family, her ex-husband and her job. I have not interfered, but I did talk to him about how he has a choice about who he spends the rest of his life with. Difficult conversation following dad's death.... Thought I'd let you know some more of the story....
As for me and my husband, it was love at first sight. Then we chose to love each other for 24 years....

I think some get confused and think that a soulmate is a perfect human being that fulfills all our needs but only GOD can do that. You are mixing up an "Ideal mate" with a "soulmate" there are most likely no "IDEAL" mates but there are most certainly the God ordained gift of a "soulmate" You may be right ...maybe your husband was not your soulmate but that doesnt mean that there is no such thing. Unfortunately I dont believe that everyone gets to marry their soulmate. I'm sorry that your religion made you feel that there was one who would be ideal in YOUR eyes (as opposed to GOD's eyes) but we are all here to learn and grow from our experiences with each other. We either get the lesson or we dont that is where our free will comes in. we could choose to embrace the struggles as jesus did his cross or we can decide that a relationship is toxic and move on...FREE WILL...But please do not let some random person's comments allow you to disbelieve in the divine gift that GOD chooses to send our way. My wife was definitely my soulmate..my love for her goes beyond what I can ever express, and I believe without a doubt that we wil see each other again. our relationship was not without its arguments and such but this is life. Imperfect human beings choosing to love each other in sickness and health etc etc. because our souls were meant to be. I agree that many choose with our own"FREE WILL" (that the article talks about) the wrong person.That is not GOD'S fault. But we can still learn and grow from that relationship and maybe eventually find our "soulmate" when we are ready as you say?to love again" Good luck MEL40 and I pray you find the answers you are looking for. GOD wants us to be happy. but it all starts with our trust in him. Blessings Bernard

I know where I am going when I die. Death is nothing to fear. Just make sure that you make the lives of the people around you

Better. I don't know why my lap top just ended my comment LOL!

You can have more than one soulmate. I don't know whether Jim was my soulmate but I choose to believe he was. Maybe he was my soulmate for a certain amount of time. Guess I will have to wait to find out.