HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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RayeS 01/21/2014

My beautiful Black German Shepherd is dying. He is 11 years old (77 yrs. in human terms). He was my husbands dog and now he is mine. He helped me when I could not help myself. He has severe arthritis and I can tell that he has developed some mild dementia. He will not died today or tomorrow, but every day, he gets a little worse and I know that he may not see the end of the year. I am so afraid that I will have to make a decision about him. He is my last link to my husband. The corvette, motorcycle, van etc are all gone. I kept some of his jewelry, and clothes. My dog is family since we did not have any children. We were married 32 yrs. and he has been gone almost seven years. I have decided not to get another dog. I live in town and we have a dog law. They have to be on a leash at all times or in a fenced in area. If they are caught, you are fined between 15-50 dollars. People in this town love to call and tell on each other. I have never understood that, instead of trying to help each other. I work everyday and just taking care of him, myself and everything else has been difficult. My friends do not like dogs so if something happened to me there would not be anyone to take care of him. When ever I travel, I always put him in the kennel where he is loved and pampered. He has a good home for as long as he lives. I will always take good care of him. In fact the Vet says that is why he has lived as long as he has. He has been taken good care of. Until a few months ago, we walked 2-3 times a day-in the mornings, in the evenings and then again at night. He can not walk very well now and neither can I. That is one of the reasons why I will not get another dog. It saddens me that I have come to this decision. But I can no longer take care of a pet the way one should be cared for. I am almost 60 and if another dog lived to be 11 or 12, I would be trying to care for one at 70-72. I like large dogs. We always had at least two large dogs. So the decision has been made and it was a difficult one for me. But it is the right one. It is just another loss due to my husband death. I miss him every day . I know many of you are animal lovers. I wanted to share this with you. On the bright side, a few months ago, some stray cats showed up at my house. They now have a loving home. I had never owned a cat before. They are different from dogs. They are very independent and for the most part can take care of themselves.

Raye

rochelle1466 01/21/2014

i understand the loss of a beloved dog. Its a bit of comfort you have these cats to look after as well now. Hugs

Caroline04 01/21/2014

I'm sorry about your pet, it is hard to say good-by to our loyal, furry friends. I haven't had any pets for a long time and I have thought about getting one but they do require attention and have needs. I don't know if I could handle a dog but I would love to have one for company. Maybe you could consider a smaller dog sometime in the future but I would wait a while and see how you feel about it later. A cat would be a better choice for me, I know, but I have never had a cat and not quite sure what to do with one, especially if it's one of those very independent ones and is outside. I am unsure if I am sensitive to their dander which would be another issue. I had a couple dogs that got old and very sick and the decision to put them down was very difficult. I can appreciate the way your feeling now. Their life cycle is shorter than ours but I am sure you have spent some wonderful hours together and if you want to compare them to people, we all have to deal with our own mortality. Because we lose someone we love very dearly, we do not stop associating with other humans. I'm just saying. I may not feel that way really, but it is an analogy.

cleodoggie 01/21/2014

My Cleo the basset passed away in early September. I knew it would happen we all die so I got a puppy basset hound to ease the pain when Cleo passed. Cleo was Jim's dog but I took over when he died. She was 14 so she had a long life for a Basset Hound. I still miss her everyday but I have Mathilda my other Basset to keep me company. I wish dogs lived long.......

mel40 01/21/2014

I have a dog and 2 cats. One of my cats will be 18 in June. Yes, 18 yrs old. She has seen alot in this family. I'm amazed but she still plays and runs around. I'm glad that I have her and the studly 15 lb cat and my little chihuahua. They shed alot but they are part of my family. I'm sorry about your dog. They really are family.

Comfortablynumb 01/22/2014

I have experienced your emotions letting go of our Black Lab who had melanoma. It was heartbreaking. After two unsuccessful surgeries, we knew the day was coming, so we spent as much time with him cherishing those last days together saying long loving goodbyes.
I decided not to have a dog as long as I live in a big city, it is too much dealing with everyday logistics...
But I had a cat that I "inherited" from my neighbors. He was old, but agile, and lots of fun,
I think cat is an easier alternative for a city dweller as myself. I am looking to buy or adopt a cute kitty.
Pets are wonderful.

deleted_user 01/22/2014

So sorry. It's so hard. Both of our dogs have passed since my husband. I feel that I'm too old (and too poor) to properly care for another for life.....and no matter the dog's disposition, every one we adopted was for life. Loved them all so much. But I found it hard to live in a home with no dogs. For me, cats were not an option because of allergies. So I decided to foster dogs instead. Their vet bills, etc are all paid by the rescue I volunteer with, and, if ever my health was to decline to the point of where I could no longer care for the ones in my charge, we have built-in sitters, other fosters in the rescue who would take them into their homes until adopted. It's my solution, and not one that everyone would choose or could choose, but it works for me. In the meantime, I can love on these homeless babies and make sure they're safe and warm until their forever home finds them. The love and joy is returned tenfold. :-)

Caroline04 01/22/2014

River, that is a very nice thing that you do. That is so much better than living in a cage and they are properly taken care of and petted-they need that interaction. I have a neighbor that was adopting the old, frail, dogs with the least potential of adoption--that too is a selfless and kind thing to do. We all love cute little puppies but when dogs become seniors, well, they often come with a list of ailments and problems like us humans. I don't think she is going to continue though--it's more like a doggie hospice--she says she gets too sad when they die. Just wondering, if you fostered a pooch that you became attached to, would you be permitted to adopt?

dl1959 01/22/2014

Oh I hate that you are having to deal with this. Losing our animals is losing a part of your family. My husband and I lost our 17 year old dog one year before he passed. I had gotten another dog to keep my husband company before he passed away. And then this last summer two puppies found their way into my backyard and then I lost one of them to parvo, so now I have two dogs.
Those dogs are really the only reason I got out of bed some days after Roby passed away. But I have decided after these are gone I probably won't get another because I don't get around so good and sometimes they scare me getting under my feet.

My thoughts are with you during this hard time.
Diane

deleted_user 01/22/2014

Caroline, yes I could. Problem is, I've gotten attached to all of them so far. lol But I know that I could not provide for them without the resources the rescue gives us fosters. So I know, when I find the PERFECT home for them, they will be well taken care of and will be happy there too.

Shrn 01/23/2014

I am so sorry to hear about your dog and know how hard it is to lose them. We had 3 dogs when my husband was here and only one is left. The first passed 6 months after Don in her sleep and the second a year later. My Alaska is with me thankful for each day together. Sharon

BotsBushBaby 02/16/2014

I am so sorry to read about your dog. I think I actually prefer animals to humans these days! I have two small dogs and a big fat cat and I love them to bit. They are my life - my reason for being - my constant. I could not imagine living in a home without animals. I do worry what would happen to them if anything happened to me though, and I have not found anybody suitable to take them, should that ever happen.

I do find that with my new and unwanted single status, though, that they tie me down tremendously and I hardly every go out because of them. Being maltese, they require lots of love and attention.

I think that for those of us who cannot do without a pet in our home but want some freedom to come and go at will from home then cats is the answer and the way to go.

RiverBends - you do a great job and I take my hat off to you! Just love those little rescue mutts of yours!

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