My husband was gone 3 years before I dated and now I am re-married. It is alright for you to date and meet others. I will never lose my love for my departed husband, but I have discovered the human heart is awesome and there is room for more than one love. I would have never believed that until it happened so you will have to accept the idea on faith. I found that time and the world doesn't stop for anyone and every day is too precious to be wasted. Go have fun and who knows that right person may show up- you will know. Bless you PS It is scary!!

right, agree with meboysmom. I am totally in love with my late husband. the thing is he is my "late" husband and i am here in my "now" life and must live it and intend to and am doing so. You will balance it all out.

My wife died 11 months ago. I have been on some dates. There was definitely some guilt but I never doubted that the time would come. No one will ever doubt that you still love your late husband so I say just do what feels right and makes you happy.

You do have yourself to offer emotionally now. And you are your own individual person. I am still very much in love with my late husband. I had to start thinking about how he is actually gone and I am available before I was comfortable with dating. Dating is fun. It is a learning curve, which can be intimidating but overall it is fun! Go for it! It doesn't mean you love him any less. For me, it was acceptance that I am my own person. I would want him to find someone great if I had died.

Thank you all for the encouraging replies. It is so good to get input from others who truly do understand. The comment that life is too precious to waste certainly applies to us here. I am starting to want to enjoy life more- and realize that I am not proving anything to anyone by staying home by myself rather than braving a date. I do wonder if I have enough to love again - but I like what was said that I will balance it out. I do not want to be afraid to live and just let life go on by me.

KUDOS!

Definition of "pine away"...

to fail gradually in health or vitality from grief, regret, or longing : Separated by their families, the lovers pined away.

I loved my Donna so much...and she loved me as much. My Donna would not want me to "pine away". I have found someone through this site as a matter of fact. She is wonderful and I really believe Donna had something to do with it. When Donna's first husband passed she went through a very difficult and painful time. I really believe that she is trying to spare me from that and made sure I connected with this woman. Because of Donna I found out what love really means. It was a gift that she gave me and she would be mad as hell if I did not continue to live and love again. To use her gift. I will always love my Donna. She has made my heart so big that there is room for another and I know she is guiding me and watching over me and not only approves but like I said she had something to do with it.

That's very sweet jdpg! Best of luck!

I am seeing a wonderful man who also lost his spouse. My kids met him for the first time recently. My son said he almost made an excuse to cancel meeting this man because it made his dad's death more final.. He had a good point, and that can be applied to dating again after our spouse's death. It truly makes it a reality and more final, and we have to accept that in order to move forward. We will never forget them and no one should expect us to, but we are still alive to love and be loved.

I don't think I will ever stop loving my wife or stop thinking about her each and everyday of the rest of my life. One of the greatest gifts she gave me was her permission for me to marry again. Actually she told me I needed to get married again because I would not do well being alone. She was right I hate not having a special person in my life. I am only at 7 months and not ready to date yet. I don't feel guilty now about dating but I expect I will have those feeling when I do start dating since that seems to be normal for everyone else. I am waiting to reach the one year mark before dating mainly out of concern for my families feelings.

When I started dating, it wasn't that I thought or knew I was ready, it was when I met someone who made me want to take that step. Start out by making new friends, or going on a date. You don't have to go on another if you don't want to. Enjoy the company of others, and if someone sticks in your mind, you will know if you want to take the next step. Good luck,

Lisa

It is until death do you part. Our spouses do live on in our hearts forever, and we will always love them. It would be awkward, for sure, at first to even consider or have another partner. But we are, unfortunately, single again. If we would indeed find another who is compatible, they would never replace our loved one. There can never be a replacement, but the heart will expand to include another. We are social beings, and it is natural and normal to find enjoyment in being around others and to want that closeness and fulfillment like what we had before. We know that little bit of heaven can exist, as we've seen it here on earth.

I thought about the possibility of another relationship pretty much right after he passed. In fact, he mentioned it a few months before he died. "You'll find someone else" he said. He even made suggestions!! I was extremely sad and the entire concept seemed very unsavory at the time, however.

So far, it has not progressed much more than talking and thinking about it. The wheels are not turning swiftly in that direction, let me put it that way. But there is plenty of aloneness and isolation in the world, and those that feel just as you do. I don't believe in any 'too earlys' nor 'too lates'. These are concepts that only limit us. It is strictly what is the right time for you.

"Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow. But this same necessity of loving serves to counteract the grief and heals them." ~ Leo Tolstoy