Hmmm sounds familiar!! Even though I have moved on and re-married I feel that way about the holidays. My husband always had so much fun and celebrated, it isn't the same. I am making new memories but the old ones hang on tight!! Bless you, one day at a time-Jesus is there

Cindy -- I too find your goals very familiar and remember them oh so well. I lost my DH over 4 years ago and I have been blessed with a new wonderful, loving husband which I am so grateful for. But like Meboysmom said........the old memories hang on very tight. You may feel like your goals are simply wishing the time away, but it was my experience that they are very necessary evils on this heartbreaking journey that we members of DS are all on. I think these goals are our way of working thru our grief. Key word being 'thru' because we cannot go around it, we must go thru it to heal.

I am so happily married again and so in love with my new man. But this new love in no way takes away my love for my late husband, the love I will always hold in my heart for him or the memories of my own goals that I worked thru ONE at a time!

The goals you talk about are huge speedbumps in our road to healing and they need to be taken slowly and with love. Love for your lost love and love for yourself as your heart and spirit continue to heal.

May God continue to bless you thru Christmas and January and February and March and.............................

Hugs,
Ruth

In many ways you truly are not wishing the day away, but I do realize it often feels that we are. You are traveling through the "valley of the shadow of death" in the real sense of the word. These steps you take every month is another step towards you being a whole and content person alone and in yourself. After marriage we often become half of a team and that's how marriage works. Now, we have to become whole again, like when we were young. After completing that and standing strong other options will open for us to choose. You will be capable of making the choices that are right for you. Sharon

I think we all do that. But, there comes a point that you no longer measure every moment against a loss. Or you choose a different loss. For me, it was 3 months out and I broke my ankle. New time concerns. 4 weeks in the boot. 2 weeks on crutches. 6 weeks until going back to work.
Daughters schedule, etc.
it changes but it always comes up to haunt.
Wishing you peace.

For everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven. A time to mourn, a time to weep....You are living in the time that you now are in. Even though early on we feel like we are going nowhere, and just going around and around on that emotional roller coaster, it is really part of the process that allows us later to rebuild our lives. Big hugs to you as you face "those" land mine days. I wish that back at that time I could have seen clearly where I would be right now. My life is once more a beautiful and full life...
-Diana

I was like that too, Cindy. I think it is perfectly normal. It took over a year before I stopped feeling as though I was just getting though the day etc. Slowly, everything started to return to normal. Its all part of grief and the healing process. That is my belief but the good news is that we do move on and things do return to normal :-)

I actually can relate to your feelings. Some time I feel like I only survive crisis to crisis. Winter months are probably the hardest because there isn't a whole lot of activities going on that I am able to do. I think some time it is loneliness, but I am not all that unhappy living on my own. Yeah, not sure what it is, but I am sure missing my husband. I do try to remain positive. I have been given many blessings throughout my lifetime and I keep that in mind. You are right, each day is a gift itself!