HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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tink59 02/04/2012

I've met a great guy. His first wife died in a car accident at the age of 28 and his second wife decided she no longer wanted to be married after 2 kids and numerous miscarriages and a stillborn son. We have so much in common as I also had miscarriages and a stillborn son. He lets me talk about John as much as I want. He loves my girls and grandkids. Hasn't met my son yet. My granddaughter loves him. He is a few years older and lives 40 minutes away but works in my home town. We have been together since our first date almost everyday. He makes me feel so alive and I feel like a teenager all over again. We can't stand to be apart we have already discussed marriage and me moving into his house he bought it a couple of years ago and I am the only woman that has ever been in it. We have decided we will wait till after next month when it will be a year that my husband has passed. I know it seems so quick but it seems so right. Do I let him get away and hope that I would find someone as wonderful, kind, considerate, compassionate as he is. I am over thinking everything. Wondering what did I do to find such a fantastic guy. He keeps asking me if he is good enough for me. WOW! It's like what is so special about me that you wouldn't be good enough. We are both scared to death that the other one will run as these feelings are so strong and neither of us want to go through the pain again. I know they say take your time, but as we have both found out the hard way no one is promised tomorrow so live for today. I am truly happy and I guess I just wanted to share it with all of ya'll and get feedback. I am scared and excited all at the same time. Thanks for listening. Andree'

deleted_user 02/04/2012

Congratulations Andree. I'm officially jealous.

deleted_user 02/04/2012

Wow!I am so happy for you Andree.He sounds wonderful.You deserve all the happiness you can get,of course your scared we all are scared.Your right none of us are promised a tomorrow,so if in your heart he makes you happy I say go for it.Congratulations on finding someone nice that makes you happy.
Hugs Sadie

OnMyOwn2010 02/04/2012

I agree with Sadie...The fear is normal...but if he's a good man, and he makes you happy, go for it; As you've no doubt noticed, several of us here--starting with myself! (lol)--@ HH's chose to "ignore" the "Take it slow." advice, so I'm certainly in no position to find fault with you on that score...As you said, tomorrow is not promised & life is too short and too precious to by-pass a chance for happiness...And you definitely sound happy!!! :) Congratulations! May you both be blessed with more happiness than your hearts can hold....
Hugs, ~E~
PS...Keep us posted...and don't forget the celebratory CAKE...it's required, y'know! ;)

deleted_user 02/04/2012

How did you meet?

RRA55 02/04/2012

It sounds absolutley wonderful! I think you always need to be cautious. At the same time when we pray to God for his wisdom and will do we turn our back? I think look into your heart and you will find your answer. I wish you all the happiness you so richly deserve.

Robin

tink59 02/04/2012

We met on Match.com and at the time I was talking to someone else so needless to say I wasn't too interested. We talked and had a lot in common but I had already had a date with this other guy and I felt I could only date one at a time. So Pat asked me to go by Sams one day. So I did and we almost ran into each other literally. He didn't realize it was me at the time and I ran out of the store faster than you could blink an eye. He messaged me all afternoon asking if I had gone in and finally I confessed and told him he could check out the security cameras it was me. But I was still talking to this other guy and he couldn't believe that with all we had talked about I didn't want to date him. So I felt guilty so my granddaughter and I had to go get a pork roast from Sams for the holidays and I didn't think he was working so it was safe. Wrong we went to the meat department and needless to say there he was so I said Hi. He told me he hadn't even noticed us. Well yesterday we both came clean about our intentions and told each other the truth. The only reason I said I would go out with him was because my granddaughter kept telling me he was so nice. He told me he felt bad because he had given me the cold shoulder in the store so he felt he needed to ask me out to make up for it. Needless to say the rest is history. We make each other laugh, we can cry on each other shoulder, we can be happy just sitting at home in each others arms, it is wonderful. Andree'

Parmela 02/04/2012

Since I married Jerry only 3 months after meeting him..... I'm certainly not the one to say take it slow. Love hits you between the eyes sometimes when you least expect it! We've been married 4 months now and I couldn't be happier.

So I say follow your heart, but use your head! If you decide to marry, be sure you have taken steps to protect your assets. A prenuptual agreement is a must. Unfortunately, we are all to aware that there are no guarantees in life.

deauxgirl 02/04/2012

Congratulations Andree' maybe we'll see you on a Match.com commerical one day. Good luck. I met my guy on Match too. 4 months now, we are taking it slow. Going to see Johnny Winters tonight. Keep us posted.

deleted_user 02/04/2012

Congrats! I hope he makes your heart happy once again.

deleted_user 02/05/2012

Wow - sounds like a good match. Commonality is important. I wish you all the best. Keep us posted. My relationship progresses very well too!

auntjogramajo 02/05/2012

Your post sounds like I feel. Sounds too good to be true, but it is what it is (just like everything else we have experienced) - and that's a great thing to have in your life so why shouldn't you allow yourself to enjoy it regardless of the mantra "take your time" that we always hear. You know how you feel, and it certainly sounds like you are happy :) Enjoy!!

deleted_user 02/18/2012

So, what's happening Andree?

missmyhero 02/18/2012

When it is right...it is right. When I met my second husband...I knew the timing was wrong...too soon after my first husband and I split...but it was right...right from the beginning. I never had one regret! My second husband was the love of my life!

On the other hand...when it is wrong..no amount of time in the whole world can make it right.

I think you have your own answer.

So happy for you both!
hugs...
-Diana

deleted_user 02/18/2012

All smiles for you!

Shrn 02/19/2012

I'm also with a guy I met online. We joined households after 6 months and we could not be happier. If you know in your heart he iz good for you and you arent settling for less than you deserve, be happy and keep seeing him. I cant believe at 65 years old I could say this, but Im not looking for marriage right now. Maybe someday, and maybe not. I just know that I love him and he loves me and I feel likeI am so lucky to found this wonderful guy who loves me too. Sharon

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