After almost 4 years of widowhood, I'm now married again, to a widower. He is wonderful to me and I make him happy, too. We talk of our deceased spouses easily and we cry together and hold each other. It is so comforting. We are trying to make a new life together, but some things are hard. Her ashes are on the mantel and a large picture of her kids (not his) hangs above "our" bed now. He has said to take down or move whatever I don't like, but I know if I do, it will hurt him. So for a month I haven't moved much of anything at all. I want him to do it but he won't. He's very nice when I do remove some small item. I always ask him if it's OK for me to move the XXX from the XXX to the XXX. And he says yes. His former wife's style in very formal, flashy, over done. It is driving me crazy. So last night when he was away for the evening, I decided to make a move. I removed everything from the wall in the dining room where we eat and all the deco's on the table. The table was left empty except for the "new" placemats, salt and pepper. Walls empty. When he saw it he complemented me and said the table looked very nice. It's so very hard taking down "her things". He has not attachment to this stuff because it was hers, not his. So my removing things is like I am removing her. We have signed a contract on a house so that we will be moving into "OUR" house and can start new, with some of his stuff and mostly my stuff (a house is usually decorated by the lady). This transition has not been hard, just trying at times to feel out the best way to merge and not destroy the other's heart in little ways. We are working through it and are doing OK. We are both so very happy. Different than our previous lives, but precious in its own way. Any ideas how to remove "her" stuff without hurting him any more than necessary? He won't move a thing.