I think it all depends on how well you know the person. A hug and a kiss on the cheek is a nice, friendly thing to do.....I think that a kiss on the lips sends a romantic message. My best advice.......be upfront and talk about your feelings....if you're not ready to move forward but are interested in the person, say so. Think of yourself as worth waiting for.

I am not really interested in kissing anyone on the first or even second date. But I certainly think a friendly hug is a nice way to end the first date. If the chemistry is "there", the next time, a kiss may follow... I have one man who I have actually "dated" several times...he is very nice. On the first date, we said goodbye with a hug. On the second, a hug, and he patted me on the back....and that is the way the past few have been. My sister pats me on the back. So does my nephew. So does this guy (aka the clown, since he takes clown classes)

I was laughing before we went out the last time...and told a friend beforehand that I was determined to kiss him! But, the pats on the back made a kiss seem rather incestual... I cannot imagine kissing my brother on the lips. So I have decided that he is definitely just a male friend to do things with. And that is just fine by me.

You will know when a kiss is the right thing...

Russ, I've had some that insisted on a kiss the first date, which I didn't want (ugh), one that gave me hugs only, one that gave hugs and a quick kiss on the cheek (nice), and one instance where we looked in each other's eyes on the first date, both of us knew we wanted to, and had our first kiss on that first date. He asked permission first! I've also had one kiss my hand, which was very sweet.
Go with what you feel is right for the person you're with. If you'd like that first kiss, ask... If her feelings are the same, she'll accept.
I did have one shake hands with me... Wasn't quite sure what to make of that... Almost like we concluded a business transaction. Lol
BTW- the hand kisser was also big on the little chivalry things - rising when I came to the table, helping me to my seat, holding the door open, taking my hand and tucking it into his arm as we walked. Made me feel very special. :)

When I started dating I didn't mind a hug but no kissing. To me that would move the relationship beyond a friendly date and so when my new husband did kiss me after several dates, that is when we knew we were serious.... and yes it is so weird at this age! Do what you are comfortable with and if your date doesn't understand that is their problem!

Athankfulone,
I get such a kick out of your posts and your descriptions. Too funny. Hey, he may just surprise you. I guess men have the same insecurities and he doesn't want to risk ruining a friendship. Maybe start throwing out some subtle hints like how much you enjoy his company?

I think hugs are the best thing, unless, you want to take it, to a romantice level. I've kissed on first dates, if the chemistry was there. Lately I have been seeing a man that lost his live in girlfriend of 8 years, and he just needs a friend, to do things with and to talk to. It's the first time I've had a male friend, that hasn't tried to kiss me. Hugs and a kiss on the cheek is it. If it moves forward, the kiss will come. Do what feels right for you, but be completely honest with whoever you see. I'm sure they are waiting on the kiss, so you might have some explaining to do.

Paula

I am pleased to see that men go through the same thought process as us women re dating.

Do what you feel is good and comfortable for you. I don't live in the US so I am not sure what the dating code is there. In France, we kiss all and sundry on both cheeks, twice or thrice, at a drop of a hat. It does not mean anything much, just that you are a friend, hugging is also evolved but does not mean much either. Now, a kiss on the hand is much more intimate somehow and a definite signal (I am ready for more). Russ, this is for you, just in case you want to go to France or even continental Europe, so you know what to expect. In England, however, there is more restrain generally, so here I find a kiss on the cheek is a friendly gesture and no more.

I am going to visit various places in the US in July, so all your comments might come in useful.

Seriously though, go with your instincts and if you want to really kiss a lady, ask her first. Best of luck.

Relax Russ! Try to have fun on each "date". As for kissing or not......I am a true believer in following your heart, AND watching for clues from the other person. IMHO, a soft kiss on the lips is not out of order unless you see her turning her head away. I don't mean the passionate, tongue probing kisses you see on TV or the movies.....just a soft sweet kiss! LOL Or as papagena suggests, ask the lady.

I'll add my first date experiences when going out with men I met on match. I wouldn't want a kiss on the lips. I prefer a hug or friendly kiss on the cheek after the first, even second date. I think most women prefer to take it slow. I am dating a man I met on match, been together 3 months and we haven't moved past the kissing stage. I am ready for more but appreciate taking it slow. I told him I want to take it slow but never imagined it would be this slow!

Dating was very new to me since I had been with Dina since I was 18 and was 34 when she died. It was so new, in fact, that on the way to my first first date with a woman I texted my SIL and asked how I should greet this woman...hug? Handshake? I was clueless. I have now been seeing a wonderful woman for almost a year. I kissed her at the end of our first date. We had been communicating very frequently for weeks leading up to the date so I already felt a connection of some sort. When I finally met her in person I knew the connection was real, so I went for it. She told me she was surprised by it but was glad I did it, even though she still busts my chops about. None of the other first dates I went on prior to meeting her ended with a kiss. I say just do what feels natural.

I agree with asking. The guy I'm dating asked on our first date. I said no. He asked again on our second date. I said yes. I like that he asked. I had this fantasy playing around in my head and it never included being asked. The real situation seemed so respectful. I am glad that he did. Now, he asks about holding my hand and putting his arm around me. I've been seeing him 3 months and that's as far as its gone. I know he worries about crossing boundaries with me and because he asks, it's easier for both of us to navigate.
I say ask.

I remember vividly the first kiss with Art. We had been on two previous dates, one for coffee at lunch and dinner the following night. The chemistry was there, which shocked me since I had been with my husband since high school and felt like a teenager again. It felt like he was a gift from God and it still does. Sharon