Oh Nicker, I can relate to this... I have a huge extended family of in-laws in Australia, that has essentially forgotten all about the kids and I here since my husband (their brother/uncle) died. Like we do not exist. Weddings are taking place, babies are born, the older generation is dealing with illnesses - and how do I find out? Postings on facebook, with the few nieces that are on my friend list. At least one niece sent a wedding invitation last January; sadly I didn't have the $10,000 to travel there with the kids, and I wasn't about to leave them behind. But at least she thought of me, then emailed me digital copies of her wedding pictures after.
Families are funny things... often they hurt us the most, frequently without even intending too... The amount of pain I've been through from my own brother and sister... well, I could write a book on dysfunctional relationships.
Remember though, that this isn't about YOU. It's not a judgement about who you are, but about their own issues and failings. That's what I try to keep in mind when I'm dealing with my own. You can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your family. Fortunately, I have some amazing friends, wingless angels, all of them.
Sending you cyber hugs... xo Jacq.

My husband's nephew got married in May, and my kids and I weren't invited. He is a friend on Facebook, 40 years old, never married before, so it was a big deal. They live in CA, but my husband's brothers went. Don't understand why, we seem to fade away from that side of the family. Saw the pictures, it was a big beautiful beach wedding.

Paula

I tried to keep in touch with my husband's brother and sister, but it seems like a waste of time with no response. So I sucked it up and decided that I didn't need them. If our paths cross it's a pleasant hello. I had to choose if I really wanted them in my life. Of course, my children were adult so it only involved me. It would be harder if they were young, but you can't help stupid and that's what they are. Sharon

My late husband's cousin got married, we are facebook friends and live in the same large city yet I did not get an invitation. I just shake my head and wonder what is the issue people deal with. When my husband was palliative they came to visit him often and cried at the funeral. Fast-forward 3.5 years later and I'm forgotten. I can't say I'm hurt just baffled at the behaviour of people. The way I look at it is it's their loss and they will loss out on the opportunity to have my children in their lives. I will survive this, I have too because I've been through much worse.

Antonella

Sorry that you feel "left out". I don't understand people either!! Why do some people do these things? I guess its a question that has many different answers ~~ according to the people with whom you are dealing.

After my husband's death, I soon realized that I was no longer a part of the lives of the people that we had spent so many weekends with over the years. It was an eye opener!! The more I thought about it though, it made some sense to me. The couples that we usually went out to eat with, play cards with, etc. ~~ the guys were Joe's friends, mainly, therefore, us women had become "friends" because of the men. I knew I was never really "close" to these other women, but, it still hurt to no longer be a part of the group. One couple came by to check on me a few weeks after Joe passed away and that was it.

Occasionally, I might meet one of the couples, just out and about. We would talk and they'd ask how I was, and that was that. On the other hand, one of my life long friends and her husband have taken me out to eat and checked on me, etc. They have been wonderful ~~ because they are both truly Christian people who live their life as we all should.

As far as being invited to any wedding, showers, etc., Joe's friends, etc. haven't invited me to any ~~ I'm sure there have been some. The family, Joe's or mine, I think I've been invited to most things. If I haven't, oh, well, they are the ones missing another gift! :-)

Hang in there, you are a survivor. You've been through a definite change in your life and handled it well. Don't let others get you down.
Hugs, Joely

I wouldn’t take it personally if you were not invited to a wedding.

These days, weddings are so expensive, usually $200-$250/head...Young people want them to be very elaborate and in line with what others (often celebrities or what they see on social media) are doing, and simply cannot afford to invite everyone that they want.

Sad but true.

That's too bad. I feel very lucky in that I'm still very close to Dina's family. I see them regularly (her mom and sisters weekly) and still get included in just about everything. Just this past weekend one of the few cousins she had got married. Not only was I invited but so was the woman I have been seeing and my daughter was the flower girl. It was a great time and I feel very fortunate that I still have that kind of relationship with them.

Having hosted a number of large parties over the years, including two wedding receptions and my husband's wake, I confess that I am sometimes guilty of forgetting to invite someone. So, having said that, if I were you, I would have contacted a relative or two to ascertain whether the oversight was intentional. At my husband's wake, for example, an acquaintance of mine showed up uninvited simply because she assumed that I had overlooked her. She was correct-- I was so happy she took it upon herself to appear!

I can relate......I think most of us can.

I will never understand why people turn away after a loss.....at a time when you need them the most.

I have no contact with any of the members of my late husband's family....with the exception of his aunt on his father's side.

I've decided I will send out Christmas cards again this year like I have every year since he died. If I don't receive any back, (which I haven't now for 2 years) then I will forever close that door and move on with my life.

I am most hurt by the fact that they don't include my son and his family in their family gatherings.......he's their blood.