I think that since I have lived through the worst possible life situation and come out of it emotionally stable then I can proudly say that I am a survivor. Anything other challenges or bumps in the road I encounter will be nothing in comparison. I am learning to live life to the fullest by enjoying everyday, I don't take anything for granted and I am grateful for the many blessings I have. I am learning a lot about myself and I decided that I will not sell myself short and be best I can be.

Antonella

What she said.

I agree I am better in myself but I feel I am not better than I used to be because I feel I was better with him.

It would help for that writer to explained what she means by "better".
I've been through some really tough things before this. The only better thing has been developing more compassion for people even if I don't understand their struggles. I used to think I had some knowledge . now I know different. hurting people don't always benefit from hearing answers even when we FEEL we need some. We need compassion.
I do not feel stronger from the horrible parts of my life. I have more fragile areas than before. I get closer to "the edge" faster. it takes less trauma than before to trigger me.
I have less tolerance for platitudes or cliches.
but everyone is different. this I know. I see people who rally great strength.
I don't how to do this widow thing. to ADAPT at my age is hard. my husband was strong in the ways that I am weak. not perfect, but 41 years together create deep ingrained reliance on each other.
I'm just past 4 months now. but I see others way farther along, still with same struggles.!

Better, no. tempered yes. I now view myself as tempered steel. My personality has been forged in the fire and misery of my husband's death. I know that I can survive the end of the world, or at least my world. I know I can keep moving and create something meaningful out of my life, even in the worst possible circumstances. It was always there, it had just never been tested.

Hugs,
Val