HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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eric1971 07/03/2015

Thank you Sharon, for showing me this group. I lost my wife two and half years ago, and in the last 15 months have changed my life a lot for my son. I've lost weight, get more exercise (it does help with sleeping), learned how to cook healthier, and quit smoking. It's interacting with people that I struggle with, if I'm seen talking to a woman, I'm usually asked "are you going to start dating her?". Between that and way guys used to hit on my wife, even if I was sitting right next to her, it's made me feel like I can't talk to a woman without thinking she's thinking I hitting on her. Not to mention the uneasiness they feel when they find out not only am I a widower, I've also lost my daughter at 16 months old.

Meboysmom 07/03/2015

Welcome Eric... I hope you will find some peace and sanity with this group, you will find us from all different stages in this walk we have been forced into. Bonnie

deauxgirl 07/03/2015

I'm so sorry for your double loss, Eric. One day, you will find a very caring woman, that will understand your grief and your life. Big hugs

Paula

sandeestttn 07/03/2015

Welcome to my world. Seems like you repeating my life. lol

eric1971 07/04/2015

Thank you, I did date a lady about a year ago, but that was way too soon and a disaster, I feel like my life is much more stable now. I've tried online and women my age (43) mostly have older children (my son's 11) and all seem to just want a man with a motorcycle, a boat, a vacation home, and to be able take weekend road trips often. So, online seems to be out for me, but I still have hope.

Jacuzzi63 07/04/2015

Oh, Eric. I could almost repeat your story, word for word. Although I'm older (51) I still have younger kids at home. I tell people I work for government, and they see the home I'm living in, and assume my income is double what it actually is. They are shocked when I tell them I'm hanging on by my finger nails.
I too lost a child - he was 2 months when he died of heart defects. That was almost 25 years ago, and I still miss him every day.
I also started dating way too soon. I wonder if it's still too soon. I have people telling me, including on here, that I'm a wonderful person, but I don't feel that inside. Until I do, I guess I'm not really ready for a relationship.
Take heart, my friend, and take your time. You're doing the right thing by focussing on you right now.
I wish you brighter days ahead. Hugs, Jac.

dschwartz 07/04/2015

Welcome Mr. Glenpool . . and greetings from a fellow DSWW member. Glad to see you here. I recently joined this group also and I love it. It's inspiring and a breath of fresh air to take a break from the main board.

Ah, yes, on-line dating can be a farce. Have you tried e-Harmony? If nothing else, filling out the profile is quite fun and will give you a bit of clue about your personality. No, I'm not a member. Actually, back in the day (ten years or so ago) I tried it and I was one of the few they wouldn't accept. Ha! I guess there was no match for me and my complex personality! :) I didn't take it personal. Back to my original point . . I think this is one of the better on-line dating sites as I've had friends that met their mates there. Might be worth a try?

Hugs, D

lori001 07/04/2015

Welcome Eric. I am so sorry for your losses. A very wise Tibetan Buddhist monk once told my husband and I, You cannot control what happens to you in life, you can only control how you react to it". Lama Tenzin has since passed away, but I often remember his wise words.
It sounds like you have your priorities in order. Take care of yourself and your son. Blended families can be very complicated. It's worth it to be patient and wait for the right woman that is a good fit for both you and your son. You and your son have been through a lot. Stay strong and have faith that there are good times ahead.
Peace ~ Lori

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