It's called skin hunger. After my husband died I started hugging everyone. I think it started after Katrina. When you ran into to someone you hadn't seen in a while, and ran into them, you hugged, it was just natural. Now if I meet someone new, I hug instead of a handshake. I never was a hugger, so it was something I just got used to. If he is missing his wife, as much as you are your husband, I'm sure he wants to be hugged too. It isn't a sexual act, it a friendly act, so go for it. Just don't hang on.lol
Paula

I know the feeling well. I don't know what your relationship is like so far, but hold off as long as you can and then tell him how you feel--just that you have a hunger/need to be held, nothing more. I recall a similar scenario in my own recent life, and it all worked out beautifully. ;)

There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be held--it's a basic human need. And it feels so good. It reinforces that we are alive and connected. I haven't had one of "those hugs" in a few months now, but I got plenty of hugs when I was just home for Christmas. My one and a half year old grandson is the best hugger. He loves to nestle into my neck while I rock him.

Good luck to you. Be bold--ask for what you need. He might really like it too.

Amy

Tell me about it!!!! No man in my life, but I found that at times I miss my husband soo very much that I would just start crying thinking of him. And you know what... if there is a man around...he will put his arms around me and pat me on the back..there there, it will soon get better. And it does help. Just that little bit of kindness.... it happened with my widowed neighbor and we have been friends for ages and ages... and the handy man!!!! Pat pat on the back. Dont worry mrs H, it will get better soon. And my neighbours husband whenhe took me to Avbob to collecat Grahams ashes.... Just nice inoccent heart felt heart reaching out to heart. And oh, but it was so very comforting.
But if you are in a relationship, or keeping constant acompany... no, no... just wait and see how sensitive your man friend is to wards your feelings, rather than to rush things and scare him off.
Best of luck
Hope you get some good hugs soon.

I long to be held again. I really miss being touched. I attend a church where the congregation does alot of handshaking and hugging and I have to admit, I sure did enjoy the bear hug that I got from one gentleman. Didn't mean anything. Thats just the way they are. Barbara

I understand that - when I was shopping after DW died, a lovely shop assistant asked if I needed help - I felt like saying "Do you give hugs, I need a hug really badly!" I did not but I understand totally.

I'd settle for just a hand on the arm.

I am CRAVING to be hugged - I never knew that one could crave hugging so badly - just to be held in a great big bear hug by someone who loves me - crave it more than any type of chocolate or cake! Sigh...

DEFINITELY have that feeling. I think it was half the reason I went off the deep end and married my new husband after such a short courtship. I wanted to be held more than anything, I was tired of being strong, just wanted someone to cradle me and assure me that everything was going to be all right. Sometimes, I feel so needy and clingy. I try to be as open and honest with him as I can about my needs and how good it makes me feel to be in his arms. He doesn't seem to mind and gives me lots of this kind of attention. And sometimes I think he needs it as much as I do even if he doesn't admit it. I remember when we first met, I thought he was never going to hold my hand. He asked my permission and I said, "It's about time!" It didn't take long for a few tentative hugs to follow.

I know what you mean, on my first major date with Sue (a year ago) we had a slow dance. The feeling of her arm around my shoulder and her head nuzzled into my neck was electrifying. It took all the self control I had to keep my composure. Later we were sitting on the couch and I had my arm around here and she her head on my chest I just felt really safe and content. I still do!

-Pete-

That was one of the things I missed so much...hugs...the physical contact with another human being, especially from a "man-type" as Vicki refers to them...lol...I remember going to church one Sunday not too long after Snake passed away, and Pastor, (who is also Snake's cousin) put his arm around me and gave me hug...I looked up with tears in my eyes and said "Thank you...You don't how bad I needed a hug"...he grinned, said " Well,here's another one, then!" and hugged me again. Several weeks later, an ex-BIL, but still a good friend, gave me a ride to church & back home because I was having car troubles, and when we got back to the house, his daughter needed to use the rest-room so they came in for a few minutes...when they got ready to leave, my niece hugged me, then her daddy did...put both his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead, said "We love you, Aunt Beth...you'll always be family to us." I just wanted to freeze time, it felt so good! And the first time I saw Joe in person, in a convenience store parking lot at 7:00 in the morning, he put his arms around me, held me close, and I didn't want to let him go...it felt so good and so right, being held like that, in his arms...no awkwardness, no hesitancy, no fear...I felt, safe, secure and like my topsy-turvy world had somehow righted itself...
Blessings & Cyber-Hugs
~E~

Wow Elizabeth what a memory you just triggered for me. It was about 6 months after Diana passed away and I went to get a haircut. It was a new place that I had a free coupon for and along with the hair cut it came with a scalp and neck massage. Sitting in the chair with soft hands rubbing my neck I realized that no one had touched me like that since she passed away, and I also realized how much I needed that touch!

I really think that human touch is like water or food, we need it or we waste away.

-Pete-

You are spot on, Pete...scientific research has proven that human touch is necessary...touch deprivation can lead to serious emotional, mental & physical health problems...When people are deprived of touch, parts of the human brain will atrophy and deteriorate.

In the 19th century, infants in their first year of life commonly died from a disease called Marasmus, a Greek word for “wasting away”. Doctors later discovered that this disease was caused by a lack of touch: babies not touched on a regular basis would literally starve themselves to death.

Senior citizens who are touched on a regular basis are healthier and less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease and dementia.

Pre-mature babies who are touched on a regular basis gain weight more quickly than babies who are not.

Healthy touch from another human being slows your heart rate, decreases the levels of cortisol in your system, and eases anxiety. It's no wonder that touch is so important.

So, let's help ourselves and others...Share a Hug today! :)

Blessings to you all! & lots of cyber hugs...wish I'd could give y'all a real one...

I am only 5'1” tall; I am at ease with touch and/or a hug, especially, when I feel close to someone. I even do it in passing, just touch a friend on a forearm when I go by them, or rub their back when they feel emotional or just sick.
When people learn that I am European, they also sense my comfortable attitude toward a contact, hence always respond likewise; they always wrap me up with their hugs tenderly. And it helped when I was a new widow, I remember my neighbors, a hairdresser, a store clerk would approach me and give me a hug, let me even cry on their shoulders.
But I felt the difference at the church after Matt passed, both women and men did it almost too carefully, as if I’ve became extremely fragile. Without my tall smiling guy Mattie next to me, men started hugging me more officially. One single guy in my Sunday school gave me a bear hug in front of the class, and we both felt that people were staring at us. I made a mental note to limit hugs there to avoid their misconceptions.
Not having much of a family here, or any romantic involvement, I am wise to still getting the contact by getting facial and massage regularly. Because massage has tremendous health benefit, both physically and psychologically, so I’d rather skip buying another piece of clothing, or eating out, but get an hour of blissful pleasure.
I advise all my friends, especially my single friends, to consider this practice of maintain their health. Keeps you sane, and your body is not aching from being touch deficient.
Another piece of advice…When you go on a your first date, have facial or massage, relax; if you don’t want your body’s craving get you into trouble of “too much and too soon”.