There are some mistypos (I hope so) in a first part of your post that makes it difficult to understand. Would be helpful if you repost it.

So sorry... I posted from my phone. Auto correct... I don't know how to edit, though. It's meant to read -

"For those who have moved on to a new relationship after losing a spouse - how did you know you were ready to commit to someone new?"

I m not a new relationship , therefore, I technically not qualified to advise you. At the same time, I am a widow as you are, thus understand the emotional state the loss of a spouse creates. Sometimes that emotional chaos makes people rush into "an escape " relationship, which brings another person into that unstable situation. I'm not judging here, we are dealing with our tragedy in all different ways, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Back to your dilemma, now you have not just you, the loss you are still grieving, a reationship with another woman, but also a child in a near future. Missing your spouse can make it dificult to fully gve your heart to another person, but it doesn't not blind you to see that person's character, vaues, and your compatibility. You are already involved, therefore the attraction is or was here; what makes you questioning your potential future with that person? Is it something fundamentally different in your core values, your life style differences, certain things about her that bring doubts?
Now, no matter how you decide your future with the new partner, that child connects you for life. A child will need his or her father, so start thinking in those terms, terms of your new responsibility, and align your relationship accordingly.
That coud have been such a wonderful story , a new beginning if it were not of that cloud of doubts hanging over your head. Only you know what is going on, what makes you unsure.
There is a chance that you and your partner have unresolved issues, perhaps spending some time and money on a therapist will be a good investment.
Good luck with whatever decision you make, be wise and kind.
Peace

"Sometimes that emotional chaos makes people rush into "an escape " relationship, which brings another person into that unstable situation."
I don't think that is what I did. We met shortly after my wife passed, but we didn't become romantically involved until more than 2 years later. It is true that I'm really bad at dealing with loneliness, and that did have something to do with my decision to become involved with her, but mostly because I noticed that when I was with her, the loneliness seemed less intense, if that makes any sense. The attraction is definitely there. She is a good friend, and I truly enjoy being with her - something I never expected to experience again after losing my wife.

"what makes you questioning your potential future with that person?"
I'm not sure, to be honest. I can see us potentially being together long-term. I just didn't expect to have to make such a big decision so soon. I guess the truth is I feel like I'm being rushed into a level of commitment that I find, quite frankly, scary. Scary not only because I'm afraid of getting hurt, but because I'm afraid I might hurt her. I'm not an easy person to be in a relationship with. I have a lot of baggage. I'm not sure if I'll be able to give her what she deserves in a partner/husband.

Whatever happens, there is one thing I do know - I will take responsibility for this child. I will NOT let him/her grow up without a father!

You just KNOW when you have found true love... you dont have to question it.

I think you knowing is instinctive inside you. I only went out with two men since my husband died. The first was a great friend, listener, supporter, and helped me greatly to get through a lot of guilt I felt over building a new life. It is normal to be conflicted over wanting to live happily again. It's also normal to want to hold on the past.
I then met a man who I knew was right almost from the beginning. He is nothing like my husband or the first guy I saw, except for his character and moral fiber. Those qualities are non-negociable to me. He also described himself as having baggage. It has made our love stronger, because I love everything about him, even what he called baggage. In our own way, I think we all have baggage. Loving someone means the good and the 'baggage'. Be yourself, be honest, and don't rush into anything permanent except being dad to your child, until you feel it's right. In todays world raising a child is more important than a false relationship. Take it day by day focusing of healing from your own grief and planning for this new life. Sharon

I hope that my general statement about russing into an escape relationship was not taken as directed to you. I dont know you, but I know many friends who did just that, and I am not immune to mistakes.
As far as your predicament,I see more clarity in your analysis in your reply to the messages here. Apparently, it helps to have this board to reflect, and read evocative points of view.
I agree as Sharon stated "don't rush into anything permanent except being dad to your child, until you feel it's right. In todays world raising a child is more important than a false relationship."
Just protect your heart from more unexpected challenges while it is still healing.
Hug