HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
The question was asked how can I find love again after a tremendous loss. I really don't know how to respond, because so far (this time) I have not even dated in a space of a year and 5 months, which is how long I've been a widow. One thing is for certain, and that is that my husbands are not coming back to this earth except maybe in the Millineum. Secondly, there will be no marriages in Heaven, and if there were, the late wives would have dibs on them. Thirdly, if they were the survivors, they would remarry. This is hard for some to comprehend, I know, but it seems to be a very comtroversial subject, nonetheless.
I honestly can't say if I will or won't. I am just saying that I am going to keep the door open for that possibiity. It will have to be a God thing because it's too late in life to make any mistakes. However, I don't see any reason to fret about it till the opportunity presents itself. I can't begin to analyze a situation that is non-existant. Right now, I am just trying to feel my way around in this dark tunnel.
I do enjoy being in close proximity with someone of the opposite sex, even in church. For example, yesterday we had a fundraiser garage sale, and one of our widowers was there helping. We have short, friendly conversations, but there's no attraction other than that he's upbeat and friendly and reminds me of my second husband a little. I am very careful to not come across as if I am encouraging anything. I am saying all that to say this: Start out being friends, and it may or may not lead to more. If it helps you in any way, don't allow the opinions of others to dictate. Just keep your head on straight and be yourself. Don't force anything; let the rose unfold.
I read this poem by Jane Kirkpatrick:
The field's been plowed.
Now that you see it,
you wish that it had been left alone.
You imagine in your mind the way
the field looked green with virgin grass,
untilled.
But the field's been plowed,
and now it's time to plant anew.
Make it the best plowed field ever.
I'll work with you.
Together we will produce a storng and worthy yield
by accepting all that is and moving on.
