HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Hi all, I'm new to the group. I lost my husband 4 years ago on April 13th. I was 24 when he died and his viewing was held on my 25th birthday, which would have also been our 3rd wedding anniversary. I actually became a member of dailystrength back then but forgot my account info and I'm starting new. I guess I realized that I still need to touch base now and then with others who know what I'm going through. Because I was so young when Lou died, I pushed myself back into the dating field after only 5 months, in hopes to be able to eventually achieve my lifelong dream of motherhood. I've had 2 relationships since then, the 2nd one resulting in marriage. People have a hard time believing that I still grieve because I've moved on. Just because life goes on for us, doesn't mean my late husband is/was any less important to me. As it turns out I had a medical issue preventing pregnancy. It has been addressed and my husband Alex and I are trying to have a family now. I'm very lucky in the fact that Alex is so understanding of my feelings, especially being so young. Nobody ever expects to lose a spouse in their 20s. Although I'm happy now with my marriage, I still grieve. I still cry for Lou. I sometimes think I suffer from PTSD. I cannot escape the flashbacks of seeing Lou in that hospital bed and feeling all the emotions from that time. After he died I actually started working in a hospital but after nearly 2 years, I couldn't take it anymore. Anytime I had to step foot near the ICU I'd cringe and have anxiety. It was a different hospital but you don't ever forget the sounds and atmosphere. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a child so this just worsened it. Since I was a child I've had an unexplained phobia of death, losing my husband was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and still go through. I'm just looking for friends who can relate in some way.
Blessings & Hugs, ~E~
I'm one of those that has remarried. I was married for 29 years to my high school sweetheart. I remarried 18 months after his death and have been remarried now for 6 months.
Today would have been my 1st husband's 54th birthday. I've thought of him often today and wondered if anyone else even remembered it was his special day. I understand that you stil grieve. I suspect everyone here does.
Your post is helpful to me. After 4 years, you still struggle with the grief. I have suspected that this is not something I will get over. I guess because I moved on, I somehow thought the grief would get easier. I think it is just more complicated. I had a stillborn child 18 years ago and still grieve. Her birthday is tough every single year. So, I do not know why I ever would have thought the death of my soulmate and first love would ever be easier to bear. My other children never replaced that baby girl and no husband will ever replace my first. But even though my brain wraps around these facts, my heart still struggles.
You are lucky to have someone so understanding, especially at your ages. Not sure I would have been mature enough to grasp all that emotion so young. I am also blessed with a very understanding man. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, but I still struggle with how much is appropriate when sharing my grief with him. I don't want to ever make him feel like less of a husband. He is unique and has his own strengths and virtues. Neither of my husbands is any more or less than the other, but sometimes I feel as if I am implying this if I talk about the lost one too much.
Your post is helpful to me. After 4 years, you still struggle with the grief. I have suspected that this is not something I will get over. I guess because I moved on, I somehow thought the grief would get easier. I think it is just more complicated. I had a stillborn child 18 years ago and still grieve. Her birthday is tough every single year. So, I do not know why I ever would have thought the death of my soulmate and first love would ever be easier to bear. My other children never replaced that baby girl and no husband will ever replace my first. But even though my brain wraps around these facts, my heart still struggles.
You are lucky to have someone so understanding, especially at your ages. Not sure I would have been mature enough to grasp all that emotion so young. I am also blessed with a very understanding man. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, but I still struggle with how much is appropriate when sharing my grief with him. I don't want to ever make him feel like less of a husband. He is unique and has his own strengths and virtues. Neither of my husbands is any more or less than the other, but sometimes I feel as if I am implying this if I talk about the lost one too much.