I have had several ask me the same question, widow and regulars. It is a hard question in that yes, I am happy to have found someone to share my life with, no, I am not happy that I had to re-marry as I miss my husband greatly. Our lives are extremely disrupted when we lose a spouse, there are times (at least for me because I have sons and grandchildren) that I have to juggle two worlds and that is hard. My husband was very active in the community and with gobs of other people, my new husband is quiet and we socialize very little which works best as I struggle being around my other world with my new hubby. But I am so blessed to have found someone who loves me unconditionally with my old body and ways and altho life is hugely different, I am working to be content. I have a Dr. friend who lost his wife after almost 50 years, he remarried and is divorced already- I think he was trying to replace his beloved wife and it is not possible for us to replace our lost loves, we have to learn to love differently and balance both worlds. No marriage is perfect, not even my first one, but I am working to make this marriage as good as my first. I find joy in that I was taught to love unconditionally and wholly by my first love of 38 years and now I can share that with my second love and he is blooming! I think this is another one of those subjects that each person deals with in different ways. I for one am thankful and moving forward!! Thanks for sharing-it made me stop and think!

Maybe that's it. Those that wish to find someone like their beloveds are sorely disappointed. Thank you!

Am I happy in my new marriage…….. Yes and No.

Yes, it’s wonderful to have someone to spend your life with. Someone who cares about you and who you care about. Someone to share all the moments of life, big and small. I love my current husband, he’s a good man who loves me and we bump along pretty well together…… but getting married at this stage of life is a constant adjustment, widowed or not.

No, because there is always a part of me that longs for your formal life and all that I’ve lost. There are still days when I wake up wondering when I will be going back to my “real” life. I burst into tears driving down the highway the other day for no reason. I was just overcome with sorrow that Stephen is gone. I miss him every day.

I don’t regret getting remarried. My life isn’t anything like it used to be, but I feel blessed.

Since I at five years have not married or even found someone to just go places, I wonder if finding someone will truly make me happy. At least single I have great memories but looking to the future I just don't know what will come.

I don't add input here a lot anymore, but this subject caught my attention so I wanted to share.......

Am I happy in my new marriage? I can honestly, from the bottom of my heart answer that with a resounding YES!! June 13th was the 5th anniversary of my husbands passing. I have been with my new, wonderful man going on 3 years and our first wedding anniversary is coming up in August. I miss my late husband and think of him everyday. I loved him with all my heart and his death rocked me to my core!! I grieved the loss hard (like we all do!), but I promised him that I would share my love and life with another, some day......when I was ready.

I have been blessed with an opportunity to do just that and I am taking full advantage of it every single day. Not to do so would almost be a crime -- IMO. Oh, don't get me wrong....there are still challenges, like in all relationships. We have made several life decisions in these past three years.......we retired from our careers and have moved to our retirement home in another state. I walked away from the home I shared many happy years in with my late husband; walked away from the city I was born and raised in; walked away from all my siblings who reside in that area to create this new life with my new husband. Challenging moments? Oh heck yes!! BUT -- I can tell you that I am so glad to be exactly where I am today! I love our new home (which is his and mine together......no shadows of a past life!) and our new life! We LIVE life and enjoy each day of it (just returned from a 12 day motorcycle trip up into the Black Hills....simply amazing :)!

I am incredibly "IN LOVE" with my wonderful husband and am so blessed to have the privilege to give my love to him! I believe that my choice to live and love again HONOR my late husband......and that's simply "icing on my cake"!! :)

My best,
Ruth

Thank you!

I am fortunate to say I am very happy in my new life with Art. My marriage to Don was very happy and I still have an occasional tear of missing our plans to spend our retirement years together. At the same time I have a wonderful man who I love and am spending our retirement years in a different and wonderful way.

The secret is not comparing the two but enjoying what we have.
I feel your uncomfortable feeling from the question is you realize loving someone new doesn't change the love of who we lost and the person asking may not understand.

The answer: she doesn't have to.
Sharon