I think everyone is different in this area as in all areas. I talked to my mother in law at about 18 - 20 months out and she advised me to date. I had been on a few dates but none that would impact her or anyone at that point. I think up until we had gone through the firsts of everything i could not have done it. Allowing my husband's family and my own time to understand me on my own. But i had not met anyone that i would have wanted around them. Now i have and they he is around my family but its over two years now. My daughter, and everyone, now this our third holiday season without him. If your mother in law is all good with it. Good for you

Thanks Rochelle. I don't want to walk around looking over my shoulder. I think I should be open with people and honest. If they don't like how I live my life they are more than welcome to tell me in a polite way :)
I may be wrong but I would rather be honest. I've told my kids, my BIL and friends.

My first date was 3 years after I lost my husband. It was a friend date to me because even then I felt I was fine without more. I told me friend and daughter and son. We socialized for almost a year. I wish you well and if you're more comfortable letting your MIL know I understand. Sharon

its all different for everyone but for sure, we should not look over our shoulders at all. Each relationship with in laws and friends and families are all unique as unique as our marriage and our grief and our time tables and levels of interests in dating. I am sure i speak for all in applauding you for knowing what you want and with whom you wish to share all information with. For others of us, its not so clear i think. Actually nothing was very clear for me in the first year, although i likely did not know it until i am not able to look back there. I am so different at this stage and its had to believe i have made it to 25 months without him. I am not sad right now, today. But sad at different times. Best wishes with your new love and meeting him

I wish you all the very best of luck and happiness with your guy from Germany, Mel. I had a two year LDR and my friends were very unsupportive which left me feeling really sad as I could have done with some support. My parents, on the other hand, were very supportive and I was so grateful to them. The relationship, sadly, didn't work out in the end as my guy had psychological problems which grew so huge that it was impossible to have a relationship with him, even though I loved him dearly.

I do believe that its actually no-body else's business when or whom we date as widows - with the exception being our children if we have children who are still at home. My husband is gone now, so it is up to me to live the life I choose to live.

I no longer share any details about LDR's with my friends though, and most of them aren't my friends any longer.

Thinking of you and am so excited for you - I know all too well the excitement, fears and adrenaline of a LDR and it can be very intoxicating!!! :-) Hugs _ Gail xx

It can be intoxicating! He sent me flowers today because we have been talking for 3 months. Why wouldn't I tell people? It's pretty amazing!
I feel very comfortable with him now and I am not afraid to tell people about him. His intentions are good. He is established and settled. But he is crazy too! Wanting a relationship in another country! Somebody will have to move! I never thought about moving to another country! I still live in the same house! Lol!
Initially, it was very hard to be honest about my feelings! Grief, fear, feeling crazy, feelings for this guy. But, I've calmed down now and I am ok with what I am doing. My kids know everything! I have nothing to hide from them.

Mel - as you probably know by now, being in a LDR can be more exciting and intoxicating than meeting someone face to face. I don't know what it is.. but there is something that makes it pretty darn exciting!! My ex and I had a continent between us (him in Wales in the UK and me in Africa) but we had an absolute blast!! I would have moved to him in a flash had things worked out between us, but sadly they didn't as he turned out to be a control freak of note. But what a rush - I still miss it all and him - and I would never forget my two years with him!! Glad to hear everyone knows about him now.. I am so excited for you.. please keep us posted!! :-) xx

Thanks BotsBushBaby!
I will keep you posted! I realized how excited I am yesterday that John and his son are coming. They will spend two weeks in New York with family before coming here. He told me yesterday that his son is more excited to come to my home than to see his family. It has been 6 months since his mom passed! Here is an opportunity for this 20 yr old kid to experience some life away from the "gray cloud" of grief! That makes me very excited! They haven't gotten away from home since her death. I hate that at 20 yrs old, he is having to experience this kind of loss, but I understand that life goes on and what an AWESOME place to experience some fun and peace! Texas!!!!! lol!
I am excited for John, too! I took my daughter to Disneyland 3 months after Mike passed. It was GREAT to sleep somewhere else, experience life and people somewhere else. It was easier to process some of the feelings I had being somewhere else. So, I'm excited to meet John. He is a VERY NICE man, but I am more excited that he and his son will be able to experience some peace and respite from the grief they have at home! Looking forward to loving on them!