HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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/ HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Support Group

Encouragement

shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17

I was talking to a visitor after church service tonight - actually my pastor's mother-in-law who is watching his kids while he and his wife are in Hawaii.  I told her about my losses, and she said, "Who knows, you might meet someone else."  She also said I didn't look my age, so I'm thinking, "Keep talking..."  This is not to forget my late spouses, but I do believe that if two lonely people can get together and make a go of it, who cares what people think?  Seriously, if I wait till everything is perfectly in order, I may end up with regrets.  I am so tired of living alone, eating alone, doing everything alone.  I'm not talking about a fling.  If this offends anyone, I'm sorry.

lmj90
lmj90
I feel a lot of the same things you do. I live in a very small town and its so hard to find someone who doesn't judge. Hard to find someone I haven't known my whole life. Either I went to school with them, worked for their parents or met them through mutual friends at a small town event. Um no, Not interested in that scenario... I mean you're right Who cares but we do in some ways. I miss my husband so very much. Its unexplained how much at times. I signed up to be and US not a ME. I don't like being alone. I want to share my life, my hopes, dreams and have someone to build a life with. Some one to share with. I didn't know you could miss someone so much. Believe me if we could pick our lost spouses we surely would but we can't. I often wonder if I will meet someone. I'm not very social now a days and I'm sure this person isn't going to be knocking on my door .

If it offends someone I'm sorry too but each person has their own feelings. Some find that being alone after loss is something they start to enjoy- a new found chapter of change. For some (like me) its a feeling of additional loss.
Hugs to you.
shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
Wow! I was afraid to read this, but thank you for not judging. I also do not know how to go about meeting someone, since he has to be of my faith, for starters. We have 3 younger widows in my church, plus at least five never married women, and some who are divorced, so even if Prince Charming were to come through the doors, would I even have a chance? I don't believe we stay connected to our late spouses as far as signs and all that; we have memories. Like you, I don't want to get to the place where I enjoy being alone. I don't think it is possible, even though I have no other choice at the moment. I feel like I am pining away. I understand those new in grief cannot comprehend this, but I knew almost right away that I would want to remarry. He would, if the shoe was on the other foot (and I had even given him my blessing). I remember how "lost" my LH was when I first met him. He couldn't even shop for groceries. I do want to become friends with this person first and really get to know him before saying I do, though. And he must accept my kids - my biological, my adopted, and my step kids (at least my stepson). It's also important to find out if I can deal with his family.