HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Do you think Patsy Cline was a widow? Crazy and lonely..... I have been pouring over advice for widows and dating, trying to prepare for Germany guy to get here. Hello! That's in one month!
What I have found is these two terms a lot! Yes, I felt crazy. Yes, I felt lonely. But, more than that! I have REALLY analyzed these two terms for the last, um, almost 2 years! (He died last March, but loneliness and crazy are gifts that go along with terminal cancer diagnosis.)
I thought I would just impart what I have discovered about these two terms. There is ALOT of advice out there!
1. Crazy!- can be VERY good. Lots of fun. Girlfriends, family, new experiences. Going to Vietnam! I haven't been THAT bold. Crazy can release some great endorphins into the bloodstream that get you on a high! It IS a state of mind.... I have found that it can be determined by what I choose to do. Sit or move. Move in a positive direction, like allowing myself to be bold and discover what I am good at and what I am not. I am now 41. I broke my right ankle last July. I was going four wheeling. I stepped out of the truck and rolled my ankle. :) So, I'm not so good at getting out of trucks. Didn't get on the four wheeler that day.
It can be walking or running in the rain. It can be dancing in public. It can be letting your child style your hair for you. (final product will be crazy!)
2. Lonely- can also be good. It doesn't feel warm and fuzzy. It feels like a hunger. We NEED people. It is basic. We need love and physical touch. In these "lonely times", I have found this feeling to be very helpful in reflections. Discovering who I really am. The real "me". It can motivate me to reach out to a friend, being a better friend, myself. It motivates me to check out men, "eye candy", taking my mind off the loneliness and again, releasing some good hormones. Lonely has taught me that I am human. I shed tears. I hurt. I am not strong, I am human.
I bring this up because initially, this widowhood was very confusing and overwhelming. It has taken a lot to sort through a new way of life, to this point (emphasized). But, I discovered some little glimpses of a diamond in the rough. Sparkly hope.
I want others on this journey to know it is ok. It is for a reason. Crazy and lonely can be helpful, if you will let it and not fight it.
Life is meant to be lived.
Allow yourself to be crazy and let people into your life.
What I have found is these two terms a lot! Yes, I felt crazy. Yes, I felt lonely. But, more than that! I have REALLY analyzed these two terms for the last, um, almost 2 years! (He died last March, but loneliness and crazy are gifts that go along with terminal cancer diagnosis.)
I thought I would just impart what I have discovered about these two terms. There is ALOT of advice out there!
1. Crazy!- can be VERY good. Lots of fun. Girlfriends, family, new experiences. Going to Vietnam! I haven't been THAT bold. Crazy can release some great endorphins into the bloodstream that get you on a high! It IS a state of mind.... I have found that it can be determined by what I choose to do. Sit or move. Move in a positive direction, like allowing myself to be bold and discover what I am good at and what I am not. I am now 41. I broke my right ankle last July. I was going four wheeling. I stepped out of the truck and rolled my ankle. :) So, I'm not so good at getting out of trucks. Didn't get on the four wheeler that day.
It can be walking or running in the rain. It can be dancing in public. It can be letting your child style your hair for you. (final product will be crazy!)
2. Lonely- can also be good. It doesn't feel warm and fuzzy. It feels like a hunger. We NEED people. It is basic. We need love and physical touch. In these "lonely times", I have found this feeling to be very helpful in reflections. Discovering who I really am. The real "me". It can motivate me to reach out to a friend, being a better friend, myself. It motivates me to check out men, "eye candy", taking my mind off the loneliness and again, releasing some good hormones. Lonely has taught me that I am human. I shed tears. I hurt. I am not strong, I am human.
I bring this up because initially, this widowhood was very confusing and overwhelming. It has taken a lot to sort through a new way of life, to this point (emphasized). But, I discovered some little glimpses of a diamond in the rough. Sparkly hope.
I want others on this journey to know it is ok. It is for a reason. Crazy and lonely can be helpful, if you will let it and not fight it.
Life is meant to be lived.
Allow yourself to be crazy and let people into your life.
Wishing you the best in the future as I believe we need to take charge of our own happiness. While I haven't actively placed myself in social situations in order to meet people, I am not so unhappy with my life as single. The point I try to make is whatever makes us happy is what we should do!