It's been over 2 years. I can now discuss some accumulated time and experience with my kids. I had a conversation with my 21 year old son recently. He had some revelations about his grief. Some of his life choices were made in an attempt to avoid grief. I was able to tell him that it doesn't make him a bad person, it's just his way of dealing. He has regrets. I shared some of the ways grief affected me and that its normal. He then shared about one friend who gave him comfort. The friend responded with "there is nothing I can say to make this better" when Mike died. My son teared up. He finally felt the gratitude that came from having a friend who really got it.
I'm grateful for this time and distance that we have from the death date. I'm grateful that we have each other. I'm grateful for the friend who gave my son comfort. Now it's time to pick up the broken pieces and build strong lives.