I started dating this man a year ago. He is the first man I have dated since my husband died. We have similar interest and he is a kind man, very good to my grandchildren that I am raising. They love him and he loves them. He told me he loved me a couple months after we started dating. I, on the other hand, am not in love him, although I care about him. The biggest problem is that he is lazy, doesn't work much and is totally happy living a life doing without, rather than working. I am the opposite. I am retired after working 30 years in an executive position in municipal government. I am wealthy (not braggin, just stating a fact), do alot of volunteer work, raise my grandchildren whom I have adopted, live on a 70 acre tree farm that I take care of and travel in and out of this country a few times a year. He doesn't like to travel.

I told him a month ago that I wanted him to know that I am not in love with him and I didn't think we could make it long term because we are too different. I explained to him that I like to stay active, get things accomplished and travel. He and the other hand is opposite of that. Obviously we do have somethings in common as far as our faith, children. Since telling him this he has started working 10 hour days (self employed), said he wants to travel and is trying to change. I don't believe people can change for someone else, nor should they. He wants me to continue to see him and see how things go. I am still seeing him but have reduced the amount of time we spend together. I am also concerned about how a breakup will affect my girls, age 8 & 10. They do love him and have lost their "papa", never had a dad and rarely see their natural mother. I never considered myself a materialist person but honestly, the "dump" he lives in and the "dump" truck he drives are embarrassing to me but he sees nothing wrong with it.