HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Trying to regain balance in my life and breathe. I am still hurting from the break up and little reminders get me down. I miss HIM. We aren't talking anymore because I made the statement I wouldn't contact him, he could contact me. He hasn't. A friend of mine had suggested I get on Match to pass the time and distract myself. I did and I've been talking to 2 nice men. Last night, my daughter unleashed on me because my ex fiancé had built a relationship with her and she got hurt. That is my fault. Ouch!
So, I had planned on meeting these men and just keeping it a secret from my daughter and dating. This morning, I realized I have to consider their feelings too. Now, I don't know if I'll even go back to my account and send a message. I appreciate the advice I've gotten here and what I've heard is to take time to recover from this break up, get comfortable with myself being alone. I'm working on it. I am still hopeful that he will come around and that's not good for anybody else I date. Anyway, just wanted to be honest and say what I've done because I feel horrible that I've been talking to these 2 guys! And now I realize that I really need to take the time to allow my heart to heal again and let my ex fiancé become a memory, instead of a hope in my heart.
So, I had planned on meeting these men and just keeping it a secret from my daughter and dating. This morning, I realized I have to consider their feelings too. Now, I don't know if I'll even go back to my account and send a message. I appreciate the advice I've gotten here and what I've heard is to take time to recover from this break up, get comfortable with myself being alone. I'm working on it. I am still hopeful that he will come around and that's not good for anybody else I date. Anyway, just wanted to be honest and say what I've done because I feel horrible that I've been talking to these 2 guys! And now I realize that I really need to take the time to allow my heart to heal again and let my ex fiancé become a memory, instead of a hope in my heart.
Your daughter will get over her hurt. She is probably lashing out at you because it is safe to take out her frustration and hurt on somebody she knows loves her unconditionally. The universal truth of teenage children I suspect. No harm in talking with men or flirting. My concern is as follows, and is just from my perspective.
I really like men. Lol. I know, but it's true. Always have. But I didn't want to look for a replacement J.R., he was singular, one of a kind special. I was scared at just filling a void to fill a void. So I really took my time discovering me and learning to be happy with me. While I was doing that, I met Pat. He is absolutely nothing like J.R, he too is singular one of a kind special. Just a different special. What grew between us was natural and very unforced on either part. If we don't see each other, we talk to each other for 1 to w hours on the phone a day, basically about nothing, but everything. Sometimes I think, but have no experience, online dating makes us all present an image, that does not exactly correspond with our emotional reality. That is what made me say, give yourself time, leave a little bit to chance, concentrate on being you and enjoy that.
Hugs,
Val
I am persoally always concerned about my daughter even though she is 24. I think we show our daughters a ton about relationships.
It sounds like its the right thing to me not bring in new men to add to your confusion while you are still 'hopeful' for your ex to come around.
I agree like a thousand percent with Val, time is so valuable. I think significant amounts of time after heartbreaks, like months is healthy. I cannot see using men as a diversion to working through feelings. Everyone is different.
Best best wishes to you, sounds like you are struggling
Yall are awesome!