HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
It's been 16 months. At one point, I thought loneliness would kill me. It didn't. Just made me miserable. I've floundered. I've dated. I've grasped at life and happiness.
Here is what I found. I've had two relationships. Neither satisfied me for the long haul. They gave me what I needed. First, hope that I could love again. Then, dragging me away from the grave and preoccupation with death.
I'm now at a point in my life that I want to just enjoy the moment. I feel guilt over these 2 relationships because I took so much for my bleeding heart. I wasn't even aware. I thought I was in love. I felt like a teen, drunk in love.
These experiences have taught me to be more careful. Not for myself, but for others. I hope to heal my wounds and not use my pain as a tool to get my needs met.
There is still a part of me that feels like a little girl who is looking for someone. I think the adult in me needs to keep her in check! Maybe that someone is actually my late husband, maybe that's all that I am looking for. I needed him and he was gone.
I don't know how to make it right... What I've done. These men believed that I loved them.
Hopefully, in the future, people will only find two notches on my belt. No more.
Here is what I found. I've had two relationships. Neither satisfied me for the long haul. They gave me what I needed. First, hope that I could love again. Then, dragging me away from the grave and preoccupation with death.
I'm now at a point in my life that I want to just enjoy the moment. I feel guilt over these 2 relationships because I took so much for my bleeding heart. I wasn't even aware. I thought I was in love. I felt like a teen, drunk in love.
These experiences have taught me to be more careful. Not for myself, but for others. I hope to heal my wounds and not use my pain as a tool to get my needs met.
There is still a part of me that feels like a little girl who is looking for someone. I think the adult in me needs to keep her in check! Maybe that someone is actually my late husband, maybe that's all that I am looking for. I needed him and he was gone.
I don't know how to make it right... What I've done. These men believed that I loved them.
Hopefully, in the future, people will only find two notches on my belt. No more.
I wish you peace and harmony within, the rest will happen when it will happen.
Russ
We all do the best we can where we are at right now and yes...we will make mistakes along the way. Who is to say that a mistake is really a mistake and not part of the building blocks of who we become (in our journey of becoming).
What happened to us was not of our choosing. We had what everyone is looking for and it was taken away from us. It is okay to not be perfect in this process. God knows that I was not and am not.
Big hugs to you as you continue to find rays of sunshine along the road until one day most of your days are more full of joy than sorrow.
-Diana
The friends I have made post loss have been some of the most amazing friends. I'm very grateful to have them in my life.
One day at a time, right? Baby steps.
How long is all this going to take?